"I have no right to choose my friends"

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You have every right to choose your friends! It is nice when someone wants to spend time with you, but if their presence is making you miserable, then you don't need to spend time with them. You have every right to spend time with those who brighten your life!

It is really horrible to have to end a friendship. I was friends with someone for nearly 20 years before it ended abruptly. Making friends can be so hard, but actually keeping one takes even more effort for me. I still feel like I failed, like I was unworthy by "allowing" my oldest friendship to end. Bright side - it gets a little easier with time, really.

In my case, I know it was the right thing to do (lying, theft, manipulation). Every so often she still contacts me and I get all nervous and excited. She'll say that, "Let's get together sometime." but I know it is meaningless.

Someday I'll find another, better friend.

you have every right to choose your friends,
the question is, is it wise to choose your friends
and i think the answer lies in with said person's preferences, aswell as maturity

yes you should be grateful for who wants to spend time with you
but someone who is a really godawful person who is subliminally putting bad things into your personality may want to spend all the time in the world with you

again be wise

It's a multi tiered step latter in a f****d up world.

It always sucks loosing a friend. It hurts inside and you think to yourself "what could I have done better?"

But the truth is Aspies are actually in the right most the time. We are honest and genuine. And we are very selfcontious when we need not be. So chances are you had these gut impulses for a while and finally decided to listen to yourself.

You will make new friends. People who are true friends will always help you out be it physically or emotionally. Sometmes they are busy and have to call you back but over all they are usually there.

Just remember they key thing...you are your own best friend.

Who cheers you up better than you?

You know your quirks and you accept them. You know what makes you happy and you can do it.

Have a favorite movie? Like a warm cup of tea?

Yeah...

You certainly are not alone! Your first statement is crap. You may choose your friends among those that want to be with you. However, if you have no friends at all, anyone willing to spend a few moments with you will suffice as emergency bandage. It may be easier to find long-lasting friendships among those that want to be with you than among those that haven't made up their minds at an early stage.


I constantly try to justify my existence, and I believe that I have to be worthy of living before I have the right to be happy. I really do need a shrink, eh?


Yes, but how do you do that? Maeby other parts of these forums will provide clues.

I went through something like that a long time ago. I got into an argument with a friend and was told they were only being my friend because they felt sorry for me. I told them that I didn't need their pity and that I was done (IE done dealing with this person). I didn't miss them and in the end they came crawling back to me months later. They had to do some serious splainin though to be sure.

What ever problems some of us may have, we don't need other peoples pity. People who are friends under false pretenses aren't good friends anyway.

The only pity I want is from this guy:

Thanks for the comments, everyone! You're saying some really important things here.
And, in response to:

I can't claim to have the answers, but this is mostly a function of the way you view "worth". If you view worth as something you have to earn, you'll never earn it, because how will you know when you've done it? Someone's not going to pop out of the sky and go, "here you go, you're worthy!" Maybe instead, everyone has some measure of worth. Most of us would agree that "all are created equal", so why are we not also all created worthy? The idea of worth is so abstract, that you might as well see it in whatever way works best for your own sanity. I got these ideas from the book "Feeling Good", which is extremely cheesy, but makes some really good points.

Thank you, pineapple, for your wise words!

Even if you did not have all the answers, you had what I needed. I did view worth as something that was to be earned. I just figured that I would know when my abstract value was significantly greater than my physical value.

Your line of reasoning is unrefutable. It will take time for me to come to terms with this, as my sole purpose of life has been to become worthy. It has underlined everything I've done in the past two decades. Everything from academic achievement to hard labor for the benefit of society. I have already cried, but I will cry some more when this truly sinks in.

I'm glad I found out now! The logical part of me tells me that I have to find another reason to live in the near future, but the emotional part could not care less. Maybe I'll be wiser when this emotional rollercoaster settles in a new equilibrium.

I'm still amazed of the amount of wisdom you managed to convey through so few words! Your post has definitively earned its worthiness of the bytes that store it. Your answer has also single-handedly justified all the time I've spent on this forum so far. I could not be more grateful.

ZiiP, I'm just glad I could help! I love a good mental breakthrough...makes life a little exciting.