AS and being gay

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I think those two options that you mentioned are definitely possibilities...it's too bad really. Sometimes, even speculating about these things, I just don't understand. It can be confusing overall.

Thanks!

Yep, I'm Aspie and gay. And single, though I am only 19. To be honest, though, I'm not sure how the combination works. I mean, I've never really accepted any label as a group identity, and sometimes don't even use the word "gay". I prefer to think of myself as a "homosexual", because it is more sterile and has less identity connotations. But that's going into another topic.

Lesbian here...just lettin' ya know that yer not alone!! !


-SpaceCase

I'm FTM (female to male) transsexual, and am attracted to women. However, I've never had a girlfriend. I'd love to have a girlfriend. Sometimes, I meet a girl that I really want to ask on a date, but I'm so awkward in that area especially because... well... my weirdo aspie brain tells me I'm a combine harvester, so I behave as such. Gah... love lives are so frustrating.

Have you thought of getting some psychological counseling for both you and your partner as a couple and on an individual basis?

I would guess we're only a couple of hours away from each other. I'm just south of Elmira. Little town and I know you've heard of it, if not passed through it..... anyway... as long as you passed though, no lasting damage.

When I discovered AS it was such a relief, things fell into place, my life. This part didn't happen over night and is still happening. What I found were tools/words here that I could tell my wife about what was happening in real time, why I was doing what I was or why I wasn't doing something. Things like spontaneous touching, cuddling, it just isn't me and I now have the tools to tell her, she sees why it is and that it isn't because of her. It would be a futile effort for me to try and explain all the repercussions knowing about AS that has been set in motion. All I can say is, she took an interest enough to see what it is that makes me up. It's on going and it's personal and it will be an individual path for you to explore as well. We now have the better tools to use, when and if it's needed to use them.

I haven't been to Ithaca in years and don't know what's happening there anymore. And from what you're saying it doesn't make me to damn happy. I always figured Ithaca for more brains, at least the students. I'm out of touch with Gay friends now and don't know what they're up to, but I'll bet a buck you know at least two. Very active and very outspoken. They're both from Corning. C & L and they have a daughter, Z. See it's a small world after all. Nice to meet you.

Aspie and gay here too. I'm in the same boat. I have a lot of trouble expressing my feelings to my boyfriend. Communication is a big thing we need to work on. Not to mention how I'm socially awkward and have a hard time with his friends and he has a lot of friends being a super social NT. It's pretty stressful for me.

Anyway, again you're not alone.

'm gay and undiagnosed aspie. It's really difficult because I fent the scene threatening and intimidating. I went out quite a lot when I was in a friendship group who were mostly very sociable but just ended up getting incredibly drunk because I was so uncomfortable. I gave up on those friedns, they were too unpredictable and over the top so now I have no gay friends and feel very isolated. I'm Jewish too and have become more religious which stops me even more. i went on some on-line dating sites recently but never approach anyone because I'm too scared. It's not much fun...

I realised that I am pansexual about two months ago, so I am a queer aspie.

You will love Portland. There are a lot of lesbians in Portland. I lived on the SE side, near Hawthorne, and it seemed like an unofficial lesbain neighborhood. There's a lot of culture. It's a beautiful place. Trees everywhere and a river runs through it! It's like a city in the woods.

Go to Powell's Books.

Pick me up on your way.

The only reason I don't live in Portland is because my stupid, crazy ex-husband lives there. It's not fair. He got Portland and I got the kids. I keep hoping he'll move to Guam or Pluto, so I can live in Portland again.

I am not gay but I don't know what I am anymore. All I know is that after what I went through with a violent ex-husband, I don't even want men to look at me anymore. It's been 8 years and I haven't changed. I guess I'm just asexul now. Works for me.

I'm not gay -- I think I might be pansexual (look it up) -- But I'm pretty sure I have AS, and lately I've become fearful of my future as far as intimacy and romance and love goes. For a while I've been afraid that I'll a) never have a real boyfriend, b) never get married c) DIE unmarried, and d) die a virgin. But I started thinking again about what I've heard about aspies having a hard time responding emotionally. Now my greatest fear is not that I'll never have a relationship, but that I won't be able to really FEEL love. Because the truth is, I don't really feel strong love. Ever. Not even with my family. My love for my friends is obviously different from romantic love, but I don't really feel that either. I've had only one boyfriend, and he felt pretty fake. In fact, I only went out with him because I'd officially become "desperate" -- you know, where you'll take whatever you can get. And I've become so used to being anti-social and all that, that I think my emotions have been numbed. I'm so afraid that when the time comes I won't be able to feel it. Is there a way to reverse this? Has anyone else felt like this?