Avoiding people approaching you for money in public.

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When someone asks for spare change so that they can get a meal, I offer to take them inside the nearest restaurant (regular or fast-food) and buy a meal for them. Most of them turn down the offer, and insist on just the money.

What gets to me is that when I was homeless, there were an abundance of programs for the homeless if they were women (with or without children), ex-convicts, mentally incompetent, drug addicts, minorities, very old or young, or disabled. There are no such programs for an able-bodied, white, middle-aged male with no disabilities, drug dependencies, or criminal record.

There are shelters that will even take in the family dog (with the family), ahead of a caucasian guy who is just a little down on his luck. I met guys on the street who had to pretend to have abandoned their families just so the wife and kids would have a warm, sheltered place to sleep. They'd meet up with their families during the day, but have to go find a convenient dumpster to sleep behind at night.

I've gone to shelters that turned me away because they were "full", yet I could see empty, unused cots in the dormitory. Later, I learned that I could have had my choice if I had just slipped the attendant a five-dollar bill.

There is no charity for the average white man.

Every major city in the world has beggers, and it's been that way for hundreds, maybe thousands of years. In America we just use more "polite" terms than begger.

I really hate it, but occasionally I'll give someone something if I truly think they're legitimate. I'm more likely to give them a sandwich or drink or something though. If they aren't legit I'll just ignore them altogether, walk straight past, that usually works, and if they call out after you just keep ignoring and don't react.

There's a young guy in my town who sells the Big Issue all the time though, and he's such a sweetheart. He's from South America and has had a really rough time since he arrived 5 months ago virtually as a refugee. He's a really strong Christian and is often seen outside the cathedral when he's not selling the magazine (I'm not a Christian really myself, but I like that about him). He's very genuine, very well-spoken, very polite, always clean, and very kind - I've seen him use some of his money to get some food for a stray dog that started hanging around before! So I don't mind buying the Big Issue from him every week, and when I get it I usually also go into M&S and get him a sandwich and drink as well - he's always so grateful and eats it so fast, bless him. He wants to go to university in 2010 and study once he can get a house and a job.

I think with anything it's just a case of sorting out the wheat from the chaff, so to speak. There's another Big Issue seller nearby who I wouldn't trust as far as I could throw him - he's rude, smells of alcohol, and always dirty and a bit strange.

Y'know ... it doesn't surprise me much that people want a hand-out. It's when people expect a hand-out that amazes me. It's as if they feel entitled to a piece of my earnings "just because." Where did this sense of entitlement come from? Why do these slackers and deadbeats believe that I "should" give them even the time of day? Social programs remove the burden of support from lazy, no-account bums and places it squarely on the shoulders of the working class through increased taxes and added fees to governmental services. Additionally, the excuse is made that it's not the fault of the beggars, but that somehow "society" shares the guilt among its members for the failures that inhabit the shelters, sidewalks, and alleys. And then some panhandler comes up to me with his hand out expecting me to finance his drug and alcohol problems in addition to what the government already pays them.

Pathetic.

If they really wanted to lift themselves out of poverty, they'd work for it too. I did it, so I know that it can be done. Yet, they are too proud to pick fruit and vegetables in some farmer's field because it's too "demeaning" to be seen working alongside illegal aliens, or they don't like taking orders from anyone else. Too bad; if they're well enough to walk around begging for money, then they're well enough to work.

I work for a living ... I earn my wages ... my wealth is mine!

Just don't look at them. Also, try appearing "out of it."

Look straight ahead, walk a little faster, and don't make eye contact.

just say 'i speak no england' and move on

This thread reminded me of a quote, I think it was by Nietzsche (not sure), to the effect that the problem with beggars is that you feel badly if you give them, and feel badly if you don't.

I tend to simply scare them away with my devilish looks

but really, i havent fallen for the ruse yet. Yeah im aspergers, but i feel that i only have a mild case for the most part. yeah i know i have social problems, but doesnt everyone, even the NTs?

well i can say i was with a friend who fell for one once, so i smacked him in the back of the head and called him a chump for falling for that.

People that con people, that is why i fail to trust humanity in the slightest sense of the word, sometimes paranoia can benefit you

why be mean to them? and don't you feel at least a little bad, or awkward, pretending they don't exist? sometimes i'll give someone a little change, but not if it's 'to get home'. except a few times - in my town the jail is downtown and most of the panhandlers (late at night, at least, when i worked there) say they just got out of jail with no money and need a ride home. i generally believe them. usually i won't give panhandlers money, but i'll almost always offer them a cigarette, which most of them are very happy to get. in austin there are beggars on almost every street corner, working the cars, and i used to sometimes carry ramen noodles in the car to give them. they were always grateful.

a 'sorry, i can't right now' or 'i don't have anything on me' always works just fine, and they've always been friendly about it. and if you stop and talk to them (i'd sometimes invite them to the porch of my place (walking distance) for coffee when i lived in a part of austin with lots of beggars), they're usually very interesting. some are hitching across the country, some are worried about how the local radio station is broadcasting scary messages into their heads, some broke up with their wives and live in a box or a park and are waiting for the soup kitchen in the church to open.

they much friendlier and more accepting than normal people. and once i made friends with a girl named skippy and her gay prostitute friend, both around 16ish, and hung out with them in the streets and at my place sometimes. it's a neat culture they had.

I hate the sob stories. Even if they're true, I've got troubles of my own, and I've found that belting out a good "nobody knows but Jesus" (figuratively - I don't actually sing) gets them off my back. Once a real hustler came up with the wildest smooth-talking, and I told him I was in worse shape so if someone gave him money and he could spare a bit, I'd really appreciate it heaps.

Wearing a hat seems to get me targeted. I asked one woman directly why she'd approached me, and she said someone wearing a hat generally had it together and had money. ??! OK, I see her point, if it's applied to NTs. Too bad for her.


That's just for the cons though. For people really living on the street, I never give money but often buy a coffee or if they're outside a place where I'm getting something, then I might ask what they'd like. Once I'd eaten about a third of my salad, and when I went to get napkins a starving-looking kid zoomed over to my table. He turned red when I came back and stammered that he'd thought I was done. No idea, but I didn't have the impression he was trying to steal my salad away. I explained that my blood sugar had crashed and while I probably wasn't going to eat the whole thing, I couldn't rush. He accepted some small candy bars I had in my bag, and went to scout for real leftovers while I ate. IIRC he got the last third of my salad, and all the bread. These kids' manners were often far better than those of wealthy kids the same age.

When I used to bake early on Saturday AMs, I often took muffins with me when I did errands, and they were generally pretty well received by people collecting outside the post office etc.

I use this trick that stops most money solicitors in their tracks. When I get a feeling that he's about to approach me asking for money, I pull out my cell phone, and pretend to have a conversation. After saying a few phrases, I blurt out "What! Are you serious? Which hospital is he in?" loud enough for the person to hear me. Sometimes, he steps away with a "I almost put my foot in my mouth" look. For most people (even money solicitors) who have integrity, it's rude to hit up a person for money when his friend/relative/whoever is in the hospital. Other times, they shrug it off with a "eh, whatever" look; but they still leave me alone.

A friend of mine flashes his private investigator badge, and asks, "What seems to be the problem?" Most beggars are aware of the local anti-panhandling ordinances, so when they see that badge, they mumble something incoherent and move away fast. If the beggar has a real problem, then my friend can sometimes help them out, or at least refer them to someone who can.