Would you socialize if you were able?

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I know what you mean. It helps if you're the 'new kid'. You walk into a situation, say a club, you introduce yourself, then you talk/ask questions about the club. If you're not the new kid, it's still good form to introduce yourself to newbies and answer any questions they might have about the club.

Some good advice all around. I like the school board idea (I remember one that was in College but I'm not in College so that isn't an option) neat idea though. I'll never forget I went to an Orthopedic doctor and I was sitting there playing my GBA he said is this all she does? My mom said yes. He said why doesn't she go to the gym does she have any friends. My mom responded no he then DROPPED THE TOPIC!! !

OUCH. I bet it was rough to hear your mum say "my daughter has no friends" bold as brass. >_<

But, like I said, join clubs/do extracurricular activities/go places. As much as it pains me to admit, you don't meet many people sitting at home, and internet friends are no substitute for actual human contact. Also, practice saying things like "hello, my name is so-and-so, what's yours?" and questions like "So what did you think of such-and-such", and getting people talking about themselves.

Now if only I could take my own advice. >_>

I am a pro at socializing. I am self-employed and I work one-on-one with clients to build databases to spec (thereby meaning I live in aspie hell). Selling B2B on your own requires more social talent than you'd ever imagine. Neurotypicals don't buy anything on merits, and will gladly be fleeced by someone they like.

I understand the entire art of putting neurotypicals at ease and getting their flighty minds on task without taxing their inexhaustible need for distraction and small talk and useless, endless non-productivity. Give me a random NT and I can guarantee within two hours I can convince that NT I am their bestest friend ever.

And aside from the necessity of that skill for keeping the electric company paid and the fridge stocked, I could care less for socializing except when needed.

NTs have a need to feel like the person they're cutting a check to is their friend. I provide that because that is how deals are closed. If I could find a way to eat without playing pattycake with NTs, I would.

People with ASD do not like to be stereotyped. Don't bother doing it to those of that are not on the spectrum either thanks .. we are all different as are people with ASD.

Your post is condescending to say the least

I am not " flighty, nor distracted nor do I make small talk and I do not think my work with children and families with children with varying disabilities is non-productive I find your post offensive and generally lacking in insight
Try convincing this random NT you are my best friend

Ny problem is too much friendliness, some guys want to go over their life story with me, some even hit on me. Don't get me wrong, I like people and I'm normally polite, but when I'm at work I have a job to do and can't just shoot the breeze with everyone I run into.

Back when I just started college, my guy friends would want to hang out constantly, as a result, I dropped classes to have a little more free time, I'm still regretting it.

I'm with Saffy on this, kudos on the self confidence but your post is incredibly crass, NT or not, being pigeonholed is not pleasant.

Back to the original topic, the key to socializing is proactiveness, people are so diverse that there are bound to be plenty of people who share your interests and would find you an excellent friend. Regardless of being AS, ADD, NT and so on, friends wont simply fall in your lap, there's some excellent advice on this thread of how to reach out, and trust me, you'd be surprised how many girls and women like HALO and COD, my flatmate is a pro with plasma grenades as I keep finding out, and she has an annoying habit of sneaking up to folks with that dam sword

I have friends, I would not socialize with people for the simple skae of it, most people I find are those I have no deisre to interact with, Those I do, I have no issues with being with them.

No. I am all the company I need.

Actually, I have done just that. I am usually the one asking others, they don't think to ask me - I organized my own birthday party a couple of years ago, because I got tired of waiting for someone to be thoughtful. I did feel a little bad - after we had gotten to the restaurant, a couple of the girls mentioned that they had told the docs I work for it was a girls only evening - hadn't really intended to BE a girls only thing, it really was an open ended invitation, the docs were more than welcome to come out if they wanted to, sigh. If I do it again, I will include them, even if they don't show up - I hate knowing people are excluded. I know they probably didn't feel that way, but I do.

I have also tried to get golf tournaments going, but where I got a few of the bosses interested, the rest of the staff wouldn't confirm they wanted to come unless there was a date, and I couldn't make a date unless I knew how many were interested, so it never happened.

I have a couple of times invited people to an event, and they never got back to me. I found out later THEY went to the event, and forgot I had even asked. THey seemed quite excited to tell me the details, which was more than a little annoying considering *I* had wanted to go in the first place. I can disappear very effectively out of people's conscious thoughts, I suppose.

I know for a fact if I didn't ask, I would be a lot more isolated than I usually am. I do have to expand my circle of friends, but it never seems to happen. THe only time I have to be social is on the weekends, but by then I don't *want* to see another soul because I am good and tired of people by then. Kind of a "catch 22", I suppose.

I can, I just dont want to, serioudly, the world has a lot of people in it I want nothing to do with.

Oh yes, I'd give anything to have a person to go to a movie or restaurant with. Tried it all, for years, nowadays I don't try anymore. It looks like a distant dream I hardly remember anymore. But in my younger days I did have friends during some periods of my life, so at least I have memories of what it's like.

Same here.

But you're NT...

Is this directed at me? Technically, I don't fit the criteria for autism or Asperger's, but I'm still socially inept and hardly have any friends (I have two main friends, and a handful of other people I'm friendly with, but hardly ever do anything with). I find socialising difficult, sometimes very draining.

BTW I'm only NT in the Aspie/non-Aspie sense of the term. In general terms, I'm not neurotypical at all.

What do you mean by socially inept, if I may ask?

And are you closest to being an Aspie than any other neurodiversity? Is that why you're on WP?

Not that I think only people with AS are friendless, but I do think that the most outcast of people are those who pose a challenge to their denial systems.