I crave friends/companionship but I give up

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Joined: 13 Dec 2008
Age: 35
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28 Dec 2008, 10:20 am

I need a companion, my family just doesn't cut it. I'd do a dog, but my family is allergic, and I am not allowed animals in res at the university. I would prefer a gf, and am trying to find one, think I may have found one and am working that relationship and hoping it turns out. If all else fails, I will live on my own with a nice german shepherd, and forget to do most of what I need to do, because a dog can't remind me.

Greyhound
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28 Dec 2008, 12:00 pm

I can't have a pet either

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HereComeTheLizards
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28 Dec 2008, 1:46 pm

Friendship is like trying to keep a sieve full using only a thimble.

People are demanding. They always want something, feel entitled to it. But they never tell you what it is. No, you're expected to just know. This, I believe, is called 'social skills'.

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Zyborg
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28 Dec 2008, 4:05 pm

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt86812.html

physicsteen
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28 Dec 2008, 5:23 pm

I really don't know the definition of a "friend". I know because I never had a true friend. Some people told me, "That's pathetic..." I don't think it is pathetic. I actually think lack of friends helps you become your own independent person. You have time to see your own personal strengths instead of comparing yourself to others.

I treat other people well. I have no friends, but I don't have any enemies either.

Still, it would be nice if I had someone to listen to me speak about my crazy invention ideas for the future. A person who would accept my obsessive and passionate nature...I think true friendship is something you know once you have it.

NaturalTrapist
Raven
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29 Dec 2008, 5:03 am

Greyhound wrote:

I crave company and friendship some of the time, but most people just aren't worth knowing (no offence; I'm speaking from experience).

I consider myself to have three or possibly four friends.

I have more, but we're hardly in contact at all.

I see them rarely because two have moved to university and the other two I see once a week, if that, because I only see them at the pub quiz I go to.

My best friend - the one I see the most by far - is being really unfair. She's never on time and doesn't care. When I'm given a time to be somewhere, I try hard to honour that and I expect others to do the same. I feel bad if I am even five or ten minutes late and always apologise and mean it. Once I waited for about two hours and she didn't turn up. Turns out she 'lost track of time' at a friend's house. On Wednesday she was late when I specifically told her three times she had to be at home at 7:30 to be picked up because I had to pick someone else up as well. She was half an hour away in the city centre and just found it funny when I phoned her (again she said 'sorry', but she didn't sound like she meant it). Yesterday we went to town together and she got a phone call and she spent over half an hour speaking to someone on her mobile phone while standing in this one shop (I felt sorry for the other customers who had to hear the intimate details of someone's messed-up relationship - something she never used to be interested in). I ended up walking off to get the bus home on my own, although she did phone me just as I got there and caught up with me to ride home with me. Her excuse was that the person who had phoned her was 'depressed' because he was all alone in the university halls of residence back in Aberystwyth (everyone else was home for the holidays) and that she couldn't just put the phone down. Well, no, but surely even a ten minute phone call would have sufficed and then a longer (more private!) phonecall could have been made later at home.

Anyway, she's just messing me around because she's now got loads of friends and she knows (thinks) I won't just not be her friend any more.

But I give up with friends.

Well, when you say most people aren't worth knowing. That's just shooting yourself in the foot. nobody likes to hear that, myself included. As for long conversations about nothing, it's how gossip is and if you have a fair amount of friends you'll start to care about it more often. Look try networking with your best friend.

b9
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29 Dec 2008, 6:34 am

i fail to collect companions and i fail to want them because i can not communicate well.

i can not even have a decent conversation with a budgerigar.
my great aunt had a budgerigar who she liked to talk to (she said).
i tried to have a conversation with it one day, and i found it to be rude and inconsiderate.

it kept interrupting my sentences with trivial observations, and even after i acknowledged his remarks, he kept repeating them to me as if he thought i was an idiot.
i told him i understood, but he kept restating them to me anyway.
i do not know how i came across so stupid to the budgerigar that he had to repeat himself to me without regard to my assertion that i definitely understood him.

he became quite uninterested in the topic of conversation, and he kept uttering comments that were about what he wanted to talk about so i told him to "shut up".
he kept interrupting me, and i and kept telling him to "shut up".

i must have told him to "shut up" about 1,000 times , and then he started to tell me to "shut up"! !!.

how dare he tell me to "shut up" and i told him to "shut up telling me to shut up"

then he went into a kind of meltdown and said "shut up" to me over and over. even when i left the room, he still was saying "shut up".

i heard that he was still saying "shut up" a few weeks later and i thought he must have had a schizophrenic episode about some voices in his head maybe.

anna-banana
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29 Dec 2008, 12:46 pm

^^ :lmao: OMG that story made my day :lol:

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Lene
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29 Dec 2008, 6:43 pm

Greyhound wrote:

I hate people being late too, and I can understand why you're annoyed.

I think she was right to listen to her other friend though; I've been alone in halls during holidays and I really wish I had had someone to talk to.

You say she has loads of friends now; maybe you will just have to get used to having less time with her. The thing is, if you act like you're upset, she can 'afford' to ditch you now. If you don't, and pretend nothing's wrong, she'll continue to walk over you (leaving you waiting for 2/3 hours is not on).

I honestly suggest forgetting about her and just doing your own thing and making new friends. If she wants to meet up, let her. On no accounts should you chase after her.

Padium
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29 Dec 2008, 7:14 pm

I need to be atleast 15 min early for anything I do. If I am on time, I feel like I am late... Gotta be early or not go at all. Naturally I also hate it when someone is just on time, and barely that.

b9
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30 Dec 2008, 10:35 am

anna-banana wrote:

OMG that story made my day :lol:

i am glad there are minds like you in the world.
no need to respond to that.

NaturalTrapist
Raven
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30 Dec 2008, 5:12 pm

physicsteen wrote:

I think that's a cop-out for the fact that you have no social skills and the fact that you're a narcissist.
Independent person, poppycock. If you think friendship is about comparing yourself to other people, then you really are quite sad. And I have to love the fact that the main quality for being friends with you is listening to every little thing you say and accepting without question your deliberately ambiguous nature. What, experiences and companionship don't do it for ya?

physicsteen
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31 Dec 2008, 4:08 am

NaturalTrapist wrote:

A narcissist is someone who loves themselves to the point of being selfless and unyielding to change within themselves. How can you determine that based on one post about one subject?

Phagocyte
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31 Dec 2008, 10:29 am

NaturalTrapist wrote:

An incorrect and brash assumption. Some people are solitary people, period. May it be because they require breathing room, additional privacy, or simply find solitude enriching, it's a personality trait just like any other. What's more peculiar about your little spiel is that Physicsteen was spot-on about the nature of friendship; the mutual accepting and embracing of a person's personality - with all of its eccentricities and quirks - is the true nature of friendship. Where you are deriving said ambiguity I really don't know.

She's not narcissistic as much as you are tactless and ill-informed.

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Greyhound
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31 Dec 2008, 11:04 am

b9 wrote:

i am glad there are minds like you in the world.

Is that genuine or sarcastic?

NaturalTrapist
Raven
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31 Dec 2008, 4:23 pm

Phagocyte wrote:

NaturalTrapist wrote:

I'm referring to the fact that he only posts the stuff everyone here will want to hear. Of course he's going to say that he's nice and funny.

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