Parent's relationship with undiagnosed children

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My sister in law mentioned that Claire spoke in a monotone voice. My dad said that both my children had no social skills because I didn't send them to school. and everyone that meets my husband thinks he's weird.

So when a friend of Claire's (now her boyfriend who is also aspergic.) mentioned that she could be aspergic she did a lot of research about it. Then she showed me a list of symptoms, and I ticked off most of them for my husband and more then half for her and her brother. But who to tell? Claire talked with the psychologist at college who specializes in the autism spectrum, who thinks that Claire has aspergis, so Claire made an appointment with our Dr for a referal to be dx.

So she told her form tutor who has told her other tutors. Now at least they understand about the lack of eye contact.
I thought my parents should know, as they keep blaming me for the way they are, funny thing is that my dad is definately aspergis, he shows autistic traits, the kids show aspergic traits. My dad wouldn't believe that Claire is because she's to intelligent. But he quite believed that my husband and son are, although they are also very intelligent. My mum believes me, and just wants to help.
When I told my sister in law she laughed and said she didn't believe the kids were, but it explained my husband. Yet she said she knew what aspergis is, but by her tone she thought aspergic people are ret*ds.

So you have gauge who to tell and who you think needs to know.