No friends and no relationships - totally alone in the world

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I feel totally alone, I have one childhood friend and I'm wondering to what extent he's a friend because we barely talk or see eachother anymore. And then when we do talk there's nothing to say because we haven't had any shared experiences in ages. So I'm stuck at home and if I do leave the house it's just to go shopping or walk on my own and I don't talk to anyone except maybe some chit chat with a shop clerk and that's pretty much the extent of my social life. I'm in a rut.

Sometimes I'm able to tag along when people from work go for drinks, I talk but never really make any connections, it's still better than being alone though.

It depends on alone. I have no people that I choose to spend time with casually. All my encounters with people are for specific purposes. Such as my time during college, I interacted with class mates for mandatory school assignments or I interacted with co-workers so we could get a job done so I'm not alone in that since. However, I've never been able to hang out with people without a purpose. A few times I tried but alas, I always seem to fail. Years ago I came close to hanging out with a female co-worker but it fell through because her boyfriend didn't like the idea. Even when I was a little kid my friendships never lasted. One example was as a child I was friends with who was a troubled child who destroyed my pool and we were never allowed to hang out again. Something always seems to prevent me from hanging out with a person (family members not counting) for a social event thus I feel I am cursed of always being alone in that sense.

This post was made two years ago but it rings so very true. I think women in general have a much easier time getting a BF than guys do. wether aspie or NoT

I don't think it's that men are nicer to aspie people, It's that men are nice to women because they are biologically attracted to them. Gay guys are super nice to guys they find "cute" too but something tells me you're not looking for that lol

You can improve yourself in many ways... both superficial ones (haircut, hygene, brushing teeth, putting on classy clothes) and genuine ways like your thoughts and mannerism (therapy can help that)

....or you could just "give up" like so many other aspie guys have. And try to live quietly, finding love anywhere you can... with pets or relatives... and just pull thru and barely survive until you're old and it's time to go.. which way sounds better?

some people are simply not fixable and no amount of horatio alger will change that.

I have no one aside from my 86 year old mum who I care for. She has bad heart so I do all I can for her. Only people I have contact with otherwise are on the net.

^^^
your mother is fortunate to have you.

She might actually say cursed.

but you should know in any case you are doing the right thing.

Yes and I take it as a compliment. I was being sarcastic in a humorous way when I wrote that. Haven't always lived with her. Just the last 8.5 years. I was a total failure in relationships having been married 2x and divorced 2x. It has left me rather jaded.

to mangle a bit from jung, "as a rule, a beautiful person can be a terrible disappointment."* at least you may have a few good memories out of all of it.

*I found an interesting exploration of jung's meaning in a blog I stumbled upon, and I paraphrased it below-

beautiful people [mate material i am speaking of] are terrible disappointments because of our own psychological projection. projection is a head thing in which we see our own traits, good or bad, projected onto the people closest to us. many of us believe that beauty [as well as transcendent love] is something other people have but not ourselves. we really can obtain this kind of beautiful love only from our divine connection to God and our own spirit, but if we fail at this, we look for it from other people that we perceive as being beautiful, more beautiful than ourselves. and sure enough, for a while this projection works as advertised- we are head over heals in love, until this unsuspecting projectee starts behaving like a mere mortal and not like the angel we have placed upon a pedestal. we usually become disillusioned and sorely disappointed when this happens, such is the meaning of jung's statement- and we then want to part from our formerly beloved, with mutual acrimony along the way- as the song says, "when true love congeals, it often reveals the braying of seals." but a bit of wisdom is this- the real soul growth begins when the projection [and the relationship based on mutual projection] fails. it takes exceptional grit to look at ourselves and see that the love we sought from without, was within our own selves the whole time. our failed relationships are trying to point this out to us, that what we seek is in ourselves and always has been.

The feelings we receive from our experience with the person, are within us, prior to knowing the person. The other person merely triggers us to feel what are our own feelings/emotions to begin with. I am glad I stumbled upon your post, at this time. It somewhat softens the intensity of a perception I have had.

Oh great. There's no delight like being studied.

You know, if you're going to do this, you ought to use real name and/or link to your thesis/diss, so that those under study can contact your committee with commentary. You ought also to publish drafts so that those whose posts you're using can comment -- and you need to...gosh, the ethics here. Do you need IRB clearance for this?

What is Alex's policy for quoting for research purposes?

Step 1: Know what normal people are like. (People tend to idiotically ignore this point)
Step 2: See that they're exactly the same.
Step 3: Unleash your wrath on the idiots who forgot to compare them to normal humans.

Or maybe men are just more forgiving of flaws in prospective partners than women

Yeah im pretty alone right now, lost touch with pretty much my friends from school and college over the years due to aspiness and social anxiety (virtually agoraphobic right now unfortunately). I have one friend who i talk to every day on facebook and occasionally the phone, but she lives literally the other end of the country to me in newcastle. Seeing her in the summer though. I do have family, though we dont always get on, were very different people.

I'm alone in the world.
My father died in May of 2010, my mother died April of 2015. My long term boyfriend left me a year ago in February of 2015. As an only child with no children, I have no family left & am hoping to find other people who are in the same situation for friendship & support. I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes.
I have a few close friends who mean the world to me but are busy with their own lives, families, school, work, etc. I have tried various support groups over the years & never really found a place to belong.
I live in Massachusetts, not far from Rhode Island.
HELP!! !

hello April welcome to our club you will find good friends here.