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spongy
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22 Feb 2012, 1:57 pm

nick007 wrote:
beckym wrote:
I'm confused..this post is showing up in the social skills and friendship forum..?

spongy replied a couple post before you that he was moving it

She stated she wanted to move it Im more than happy to help anyone that wants to move/delete... a thread/post



beckym
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22 Feb 2012, 2:03 pm

oh awesome thank you



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22 Feb 2012, 2:16 pm

Wolfheart wrote:
I agree but there are dangers of going out to a nightclub, there are people that date rape and rape girls or exploit them, she is probably safer on here talking to guys. Besides you can't judge every guy on spectrum based on a few experiences you've had or seen with them, there are people that aren't on the spectrum with bad intentions or motives.

about the bolded part, i would say NO. i see the things that you do not. i agree that that aspies are not any worse than other people at all, but in terms of safety.... WP is not a haven where people are less likely to get hurt. it's like any other online forum and has equal risks.


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beckym
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22 Feb 2012, 2:19 pm

I feel like I need to add that I am not just a little naive aspie. I would NEVER meet up with anyone through the Internet. I am not stupid.



hyperlexian
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22 Feb 2012, 2:19 pm

Pilgrim_NY wrote:
Someone is trying 2 make a fool of all of us and check our responce :wink:

smart guess. although the OP may be a legitimate individual seeking pen pals, there have been MANY cases of fake posts and threads designed to elicit responses.


beckym... if you want good quality responses, have a look around the site and post in some threads or start more threads of your own with questions in them instead of asking people to contact you.


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Wolfheart
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22 Feb 2012, 2:20 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
I agree but there are dangers of going out to a nightclub, there are people that date rape and rape girls or exploit them, she is probably safer on here talking to guys. Besides you can't judge every guy on spectrum based on a few experiences you've had or seen with them, there are people that aren't on the spectrum with bad intentions or motives.

about the bolded part, i would say NO. i see the things that you do not. i agree that that aspies are not any worse than other people at all, but in terms of safety.... WP is not a haven where people are less likely to get hurt. it's like any other online forum and has equal risks.


I meant in relation to real life scenarios such as nightclubs or bars, a girl on the spectrum without a group of a protective friends or the ability to read social cues is a target for males in that environment.



hyperlexian
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22 Feb 2012, 2:23 pm

Grisha wrote:
MisterSpock wrote:
I would like to say that I have faith that the males on here are comprised of mostly decent men, who would not spam a new female Aspie, just because they are sad and lonely. Please show a little more faith in your community, guys...


+1,000 - well said.

The "bad apples" get weeded out by the mods very quickly, we should be supporting each other, not tearing each other down by reporting vague, unfounded accusations as "facts".

we can't see PMs, so theer is no reason to think we can protect anyone in that way. i agree that characterising aspie men as somehow worse than NT men is completely unfair. but WP should not be viewed as a safe or protective place if we are talking about private messages.


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hyperlexian
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22 Feb 2012, 2:24 pm

beckym wrote:
I feel like I need to add that I am not just a little naive aspie. I would NEVER meet up with anyone through the Internet. I am not stupid.

meeting up is not the only way you can put yourself in danger.


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hyperlexian
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22 Feb 2012, 2:26 pm

Wolfheart wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
I agree but there are dangers of going out to a nightclub, there are people that date rape and rape girls or exploit them, she is probably safer on here talking to guys. Besides you can't judge every guy on spectrum based on a few experiences you've had or seen with them, there are people that aren't on the spectrum with bad intentions or motives.

about the bolded part, i would say NO. i see the things that you do not. i agree that that aspies are not any worse than other people at all, but in terms of safety.... WP is not a haven where people are less likely to get hurt. it's like any other online forum and has equal risks.


I meant in relation to real life scenarios such as nightclubs or bars, a girl on the spectrum without a group of a protective friends or the ability to read social cues is a target for males in that environment.

it's apples/oranges. each situation has its own unique dangers. and i want to make sure that people do NOT see WP as a haven that is safer than any other forum. it's also not necessarily safer than real life situations.


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hale_bopp
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22 Feb 2012, 2:27 pm

Wolfheart wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
That ain't what she's gonna get.
Not here. Aspie guys who can't get a GF want a foot in the door.

Although I do wish her all the best and hope she manages to deal with the spam ok.

OP- the only advice I can give you is to be careful. A lot of aspie men can be extremely romantically obsessive and violent when they don't get their own way.


I agree but there are dangers of going out to a nightclub, there are people that date rape and rape girls or exploit them, she is probably safer on here talking to guys. Besides you can't judge every guy on spectrum based on a few experiences you've had or seen with them, there are people that aren't on the spectrum with bad intentions or motives.


That doesn't make what I said any less true.

Grisha wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
OP- the only advice I can give you is to be careful. A lot of aspie men can be extremely romantically obsessive and violent when they don't get their own way.


That's a very dramatic, blanket statement: I think you're obligated to explain why you believe this.


I don't owe anyone an explaination. I said a lot of aspie men, not "most" or "all".



Grisha
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22 Feb 2012, 2:35 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
I don't owe anyone an explaination. I said a lot of aspie men, not "most" or "all".


"a lot" is still a pretty general statement, that casts a negative light on enough people where it is not unreasonable to ask you to justify it.

"A lot of Aspie women are manipulative gold-diggers" - is that OK?



Wolfheart
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22 Feb 2012, 2:38 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
I agree but there are dangers of going out to a nightclub, there are people that date rape and rape girls or exploit them, she is probably safer on here talking to guys. Besides you can't judge every guy on spectrum based on a few experiences you've had or seen with them, there are people that aren't on the spectrum with bad intentions or motives.

about the bolded part, i would say NO. i see the things that you do not. i agree that that aspies are not any worse than other people at all, but in terms of safety.... WP is not a haven where people are less likely to get hurt. it's like any other online forum and has equal risks.


I meant in relation to real life scenarios such as nightclubs or bars, a girl on the spectrum without a group of a protective friends or the ability to read social cues is a target for males in that environment.

it's apples/oranges. each situation has its own unique dangers. and i want to make sure that people do NOT see WP as a haven that is safer than any other forum. it's also not necessarily safer than real life situations.


I suppose you're right, I've just had positive experiences talking to people via Skype from here and meeting people at meet ups, most people seem to be positive and friendly on here but I guess you're right, precautions should still be taken.



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22 Feb 2012, 2:44 pm

Grisha wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
I don't owe anyone an explaination. I said a lot of aspie men, not "most" or "all".


"a lot" is still a pretty general statement, that casts a negative light on enough people where it is not unreasonable to ask you to justify it.

"A lot of Aspie women are manipulative gold-diggers" - is that OK?


I see what you mean.

I have to say, I wouldn't have said that if I didn't believe it 100%.

I'm going to start with my own experiences online and offline. These don't need explaining. I have been in contact with 10s of 1000s of aspies in my time on the internet.

When compared with the 10s of 1000s of NTs I have been in contact with on the internet, I must say the apies I have met in general are more romantically obsessive (Of course, you know.. obsession is a trait. This is from people I've dealt with, people my friends have dealt with, and posts on forums, both aspie and NT)

I'm not saying there aren't obsessive NTs out there who get all butt hurt. There are. But from my experience, it's a lot easier to come across as aspie who becomes obsessed with you as opposed to an NT. I run a website for gods sake. You have no idea the sort of crazy crap I deal with on it.

Like I said, I wouldn't have said that without a decent sample size of personal experience.

I was not implying that all aspie males are crazy. I said "a lot" because it's simply true. But I apologise if it came across to imply a negative light on all aspie males. It wasn't intended that way.



Grisha
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22 Feb 2012, 2:51 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Grisha wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
I don't owe anyone an explaination. I said a lot of aspie men, not "most" or "all".


"a lot" is still a pretty general statement, that casts a negative light on enough people where it is not unreasonable to ask you to justify it.

"A lot of Aspie women are manipulative gold-diggers" - is that OK?


I see what you mean.

I have to say, I wouldn't have said that if I didn't believe it 100%.

I'm going to start with my own experiences online and offline. These don't need explaining. I have been in contact with 10s of 1000s of aspies in my time on the internet.

When compared with the 10s of 1000s of NTs I have been in contact with on the internet, I must say the apies I have met in general are more romantically obsessive (Of course, you know.. obsession is a trait. This is from people I've dealt with, people my friends have dealt with, and posts on forums, both aspie and NT)

I'm not saying there aren't obsessive NTs out there who get all butt hurt. There are. But from my experience, it's a lot easier to come across as aspie who becomes obsessed with you as opposed to an NT. I run a website for gods sake. You have no idea the sort of crazy crap I deal with on it.

Like I said, I wouldn't have said that without a decent sample size of personal experience.

I was not implying that all aspie males are crazy. I said "a lot" because it's simply true. But I apologise if it came across to imply a negative light on all aspie males. It wasn't intended that way.


That's fair, I'm certainly not going to argue with you because you're speaking from direct experience and I'm just sort of speculating, but I still believe the vast majority of guys around here are decent and respectful and I hate to see them characterized as otherwise to new AS people coming here for help.

Plus, I'm probably a little more sensitive on the subject than others... :wink:



hyperlexian
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22 Feb 2012, 2:53 pm

Wolfheart wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
I agree but there are dangers of going out to a nightclub, there are people that date rape and rape girls or exploit them, she is probably safer on here talking to guys. Besides you can't judge every guy on spectrum based on a few experiences you've had or seen with them, there are people that aren't on the spectrum with bad intentions or motives.

about the bolded part, i would say NO. i see the things that you do not. i agree that that aspies are not any worse than other people at all, but in terms of safety.... WP is not a haven where people are less likely to get hurt. it's like any other online forum and has equal risks.


I meant in relation to real life scenarios such as nightclubs or bars, a girl on the spectrum without a group of a protective friends or the ability to read social cues is a target for males in that environment.

it's apples/oranges. each situation has its own unique dangers. and i want to make sure that people do NOT see WP as a haven that is safer than any other forum. it's also not necessarily safer than real life situations.


I suppose you're right, I've just had positive experiences talking to people via Skype from here and meeting people at meet ups, most people seem to be positive and friendly on here but I guess you're right, precautions should still be taken.

you're a muscular man who is over 6 feet tall. men who are built like you are not often victimised.

females can sometimes be a sort of target, and if you add youth and AS to the mix it can be a draw for all the wrong kinds of attention.


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Wolfheart
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22 Feb 2012, 3:06 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
females can sometimes be a sort of target, and if you add youth and AS to the mix it can be a draw for all the wrong kinds of attention.


I have no doubt in my mind that there are sexual predators that look for young naive girls to exploit emotionally, physically, sexually or mentally. I agree precautions must be taken under any circumstances as people can sometimes have an ulterior motive.

Hopefully all of this talk hasn't made beckym feel uncomfortable, unwelcome or awkward on this website or in a situation where she does become involved with someone genuine from this website but yes, she should take precautions and be careful if she does meet anyone from this website.