How do you tell when someone is two-faced?

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seaturtleisland
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13 Mar 2013, 4:47 pm

If the person knows I have AS it can actually be easier to tell if someone is faking or trying to deceive me. There have been several people who have put less effort into seeming genuine than they normally would when they knew I had AS. They didn't think they had to try as hard to fool me so they relaxed a bit and that's how I was able to tell.

It's not like I can just let everyone know I'm Autistic so they get careless and lazy with their attempts to lie to me but it has worked out in my favour in some situations. It's even more insulting when that does happen though. When they lie so carelessly it's like they're insulting your intelligence. They think you're so stupid you won't even see through them when they make it so blatantly obvious what they're doing.



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19 Mar 2013, 9:00 am

Would a narcissist be an example of a two-faced person?



Tyri0n
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19 Mar 2013, 10:11 am

If what they say and how they act is excessive, forced, and doesn't make sense.



Tyri0n
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19 Mar 2013, 10:11 am

If what they say and how they act is excessive, forced, and doesn't make sense. If someone is being more nice than the circumstances warrant, they are probably two-faced.



Moondust
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19 Mar 2013, 12:09 pm

Then we aspies are often two-faced, because that's how we often act - forced, not natural, too nice for the circumstances, excessive - and don't make sense to NTs.


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19 Mar 2013, 2:21 pm

Moondust wrote:
Then we aspies are often two-faced, because that's how we often act - forced, not natural, too nice for the circumstances, excessive - and don't make sense to NTs.


I thought the same. okcupid says I'm a robot, I imitate anyone.



dunya
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19 Mar 2013, 2:57 pm

When they are friendly when they want something, but distant at other times.
When they try to get you to join in when they say bad things about other people and then tell those people "Did you hear what he/she said about you?"
When they will talk with you when others are present but not when it's only the two of you.

When they act like they respect you when it's just you two, but when in company assume you have said something stupid and laugh with their mates about it instead of saying "I didn't understand what you meant, can you explain?"

When that so-called friend let someone treat you disrespectfully and then justified it afterwards by saying "we need that person's help so I couldn't complain in case he became unco-operative". Thus failing to challenge bad behaviour in a cowardly way and then asking me to agree that he was powerless to resist because the long-term goal was more important to him than my dignity. I will never trust that person again.



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20 Mar 2013, 5:37 am

From my own experience, I think it's important to judge people by their actions, not by their words alone. For example, if someone says, "I'm here in school to study, I didn't come to college to party," but later on you overhear that person talking to someone else about some bar they're all going to, their actions are clearly inconsistent with their words. Also, some people tend to change their behavior and personality depending on the group of people they are surrounded by. They may claim to hold a certain opinion about someone or something while around one group of friends, yet state a totally different opinion about that same topic when they are around a different group of people. These kinds of people are manipulative, in a way, trying to project the persona that they think other people want to see. I find that it is helpful to think back on people I have met in the past who I have been close to, and remember who I got along with and who I didn't. When I meet someone whose behavior and interactions with others strongly remind me of other people who I found to be untrustworthy, I usually avoid them, and that usually turns out to be the right thing to do.



Zodai
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20 Mar 2013, 6:28 am

seaturtleisland wrote:
You know someone is two faced when he makes decisions by flipping a coin.

Another indicator is a facial deformity.


+1

But, yeah - information is a good idea.

Maybe facebook him? Try and get an idea?


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