Social Media or No?

Post Reply New Topic

It always made me feel jealous to see those posts.

I just had this happen again. Opening up another Facebook profile was reaaaally ill-advised and lasted almost exactly a month. People know very well that I get hyper-vigilant and thus, they push buttons, get me to do my trick, and then have a laugh at the crazy while somehow taking the moral high ground. (After adding me, not vice-versa, so it's definitely predatory.) It's very confusing and what's even more disturbing is that some of these people actually work in the mental health field. Some people just have a shinier mask of sanity than me, I guess. I deleted my account a few minutes ago and it's already such a relief. Seeing as they're local, I just hope they won't bother me in person.



I was guilty of making those kinds of posts, at least for awhile. I got really sick of looking like a loser all of the time, so I began to go out and do 'impressive' crap -- and constantly posted about it. I'm not sure if I expected their respect or what, but I was only met with jealousy for upstaging others, if only for a short while. How dare I upset the social hierarchy? Now I'm an entitled, narcissistic pariah on par with Justin Bieber, while they continue to do the same thing. Screw it, the only way to win the game is to not play.

It just sucks because sometimes I want to share things. There will be a really great song or I'll make something that I'm proud of, but there's no outlet without dealing with all of that crap. Then again, years ago, people got along fine without social networking.

I think the thing that bothers me the most is that somehow they'll always be the "good guys" and I'll be the potentially dangerous psychopath. Ugh.

I don't like Facebook that much because no one there really gives a crap about what I post other then my mom and my relatives. I swear I say the stupidest stuff as status updates because I really don't care. Like I posted Went To Walmart and Bought Som Cigarettes, Went to Walmart and bought 1000 bucks worth of lottery tickets I hope I win, and I Like Bacon as status updates in the past.

Oh yeah, back in 2008 and 2009, there was this app on Facebook called Compare People where basically it asked a question like Who is funnier or who is sexier? And it showed you two friends and you had to choose who you thought was funnier, sexier etc... There was also rankings to see how you compared with your friends. I was always dead last in who is hotter, who is sexier, who would you rather sleep with. And I was always ranked near the top in who is crazier and who is funnier. (I was a crazy 8th grader) Actually this one girl who I had a big crush on, I kept voting her up in who is prettier so she would be ranked at the top in who was the prettiest. I told her afterwards and she deleted me. And this one tall manly dude who I was jealous of, I kept voting him down so he'd be ranked dead last in who is sexier. Trololol

I remember that game.

I'm sorry this happened to you. Actually sounds just about right to me that they work in mental health. That does not surprise me at all.

I'm not too much into social media. I don't really care for it all that much ... The only social media page that I do have is Twitter, and that's mainly to get updates on brands that I like, world news, science advancements, etc. I never had a Facebook (never will); I used to have an Instagram account, but I deleted it a couple of years ago.

I'm in agreement with @886. If it weren't for my inability to keep in touch with people, I wouldn't have Facebook at all, and I'm on it maybe five minutes out of the week, and that is more than enough social interaction for me. I hate the phone, I won't "skype", and I struggle to start or maintain a conversation, and the end is not any less awkward. This way I can still have limited contact with people about whom I care in nearly complete comfort.

I will add that I am a bit of a "behind the curtain" activist, and internet privacy (regarding information collected, not given) is a cause I advocate. FB collects so much data on people it's mind boggling, but sites like Ello haven't caught on yet in my circles, so FB it is I just limit how much time I spend on it and what I post, share, comment, et cetera. I do have a bunch of goodies in my browsers and machine that make my internet usage as private as possible, but nothing is perfect. Even TOR has contaminated nodes.

I found this helpful

How Borderlines and Narcissists Abuse Facebook and Other Social Media
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVxmJwmDcos

I also found this helpful, especially the parts about mobbing and secret allies. A lot of things that I post are taken wildly out of context to imply something menacing. I also feel guilty because I think that I've abused social networking too -- though never to that extent. I guess that I can only learn and do better. Regardless, I'm happy to have social networking (and a lot of people) out of my life. Thanks for sharing.

Thank you for sharing that. I get in so much trouble for not posting enough of (x) or not liking (y). I thought I was in the wrong and it was yet another social norm I don't get. Wow. I apparently have some things to think about.

I still have a Facebook...not really on any other big social media sites really. But I actually prefer having my facebook since it helps me stay in touch with some people, and if my phone is out of service or something then it gives an alternate option for people to contact me till I get service on my phone again. I also like to play the game pot farm, I follow various pages of interest so I see interesting articles/pictures and things. Also a while back on another site I was part of a metal forum but all the forums on the site where done away with so some of us just made a facebook group so that is the only way to really keep in contact with those people.

But I do not spend all my time on facebook just nice to have when I am bored or need to contact someone some other way than phone, still cannot log into it on my phone because I don't remember my password and have been having issues with the site not sending me a password reset link. But even if I could access facebook from my phone I wouldn't that often....some people are glued to social media on their phones like 24/7 I couldn't do that.

You are very welcome.

I've had things I said taken wildly out of context also. I think this is partly just a pitfall of the internet, that it can be very easy for people to misinterpret things, but rational people can usually work it out, realize they might have made a mistake and get past it. Anyway most people don't take things wildly out of context...people who do that usually have mental problems, and/or they are doing it on purpose to be malicious.

I've done things online that I regret in hindsight, and sometimes I have done abusive things out of anger or frustration. But most things I regret because I was blundering and I truly didn't know any better. I was especially naïve about FB when I joined and I didn't realize how things could be misconstrued, such as giving too many likes. I didn't realize how much there is an unspoken protocol for how people act on these sites.

Some of the worst situations I've gotten into online were not because I did anything abusive, they have happened because I was too nice to the wrong people, too friendly or outgoing or appreciative towards the wrong people, or because I trusted and confided in the wrong people. I just didn't recognize how predatory and/or crazy some of these people could be. It's harder on the internet because people can really conceal a lot and put up a false persona.

This is a valid point, and it seems that when I have been taken out of context, they were actively looking to distort what was being said. At that point, there isn't much that can be said or done, and so I try not to internalize it as much as I used to. At its core, the conflict seems to be based on the fact that I left the area with a lucrative opportunity, had to return, and now I must be 'put in my place.' These aren't the actions of secure, well-balanced people.



This was the extent of my abuse of social networking. I'm considered creepy for being too forward and friendly, without having done much except breaking protocol and reacting negatively in turn toward the resulting ridicule. Often times I'd privately confide in others and they would just parrot what I had said. I was once told that I "was not even a real person" and Aspergers/ASD is largely considered a scam. Considering the amount of vitriol, racism, and bigotry that is constantly posted by this closed off group of people, I feel better off for not fitting in. I feel even better not being around them at all.

Oh, well, that definitely explains it! It's weird how people can be so resentful over things like that, but it does indeed happen.

That reminds me of something. Several years ago, I met up with a guy I was friends with in high school, and he made a really snotty comment about how I went to a private college out of state, instead of the local state university he and most others went to...something about me thinking I was "too good" to go to school there. I was shocked, it came out of nowhere, first time I ever had any idea that other people might have seen it that way (I saw it just the opposite, that I wasn't good enough to go to the university). Anyway when he said that, it really made me think and finally might have explained some things about how people acted towards me.



I think I've been perceived that way too, I've only heard of one person actually describing me as "creepy" but I wouldn't be surprised if others have thought so too.

It sounds like you might be from a small town kind of place? I'm from a rural community. In any case, some places have a lot of double standards about social rules. The older people here where I'm from had a very different culture...very open and friendly and not much privacy. It was normal for them to do things that nowadays would be considered trespassing or stalking. lol My generation was brought up with those values, but meanwhile things changed a lot, so those old ideals became really impractical.

So you can get stuck in this sort of catch 22 where people still think it's important to be friendly and neighborly - and they can sure get snippy with you if they think you're not being friendly enough - but at the same time, if you are friendly they might feel a little suspicious of it. I think it has a lot to do with people feeling insecure about where they come from and not understanding or accepting their own roots.

I think FB in general has some very similar double standards...the very design of it prompts you to be outgoing and friendly, but it's not deeply rooted in anything. It doesn't encourage people to establish trust with each other, or form deeper connections, and it doesn't facilitate having good boundaries with people. What it facilitates best is forming a lot of scattered connections with people, where people may not understand (or agree on) the purpose or context of the connection. People need a context to know how to interpret behaviors, so practically any kind of behavior can become suspect in that environment. I think it actually fosters a lot of distrust and paranoia.

I only used My Space but it s#cked cuz most of the people who added me I never 1ce chatted with.