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Does anyone feel this way about eye contact?

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Wolfpup
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02 May 2007, 9:14 am

Ramsus wrote:
I've never really had much problem with eye contact, though that could be from being deliberaly taught to stare into someone's eyes at a young age. It also helps when you have a god-complex and believe everyone else is inferior.. you don't have to care about what they may think. In fact, I'd say I have better social abilities than most regular people.. or at least in basic conversation. However, I'm prone to wording things bad, unintentionally offending people, and generally being an opinionated jerk unable to hold back at someone. I can ussually read a person, but I still don't emotionally understand them. I never know if I'm going to do something wrong or not. Does anyone else argue.. a lot? I enjoy it because you're able to throw all the expected norm in a regular social interraction out the window. It's just two people each presenting their opinion. You *know* what the other person is feeling at that point. Plus, it's fun to tear apart someone's theory or belief in a calm manner.. it's like a people puzzle. =)


I try to tone it back in real life since I know people hate it, but on the internet I just continue to argue something endlessly if I know I'm right, trying to tear the other argument to shreds. I *REALLY* try to just shut up now in real life based on different experiences I've had. (Like one time this girl ended up in tears-her idea was completely nuts, but I had no idea she was going to cry, and had no idea what to do about it. It really scared me, because I didn't have the slightest intention of hurting her, and I had no idea at all that I was! I think she thought the atomic bomb wasn't invented in the United States, and had this weird theory about that. Now I would just try to shut up about it in real life, because I don't want to offend someone and can't tell for sure how they're taking what I'm saying.)

I've also noticed even on the internet that some people seem to be responding emotionally, and completely ignore the logic I've layed out in an argument.



PLA
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12 May 2007, 11:30 am

Well, fixating someone with your gaze is definitely a sign of aggression. Actually one is supposed to shift between looking at different parts of someone's face, or in other cultures rather at the neck, or only as a greeting, while all cultures do include quick glances to establish that the point got through and such.

I'm not very big on eye-contact myself. It freaks me out. But it's more OK when it's with people I know.


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Cheerlessleader
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14 May 2007, 7:44 am

When I look people in the eye, I get nervous and my face twitches, and of course people think they'll do something totally original and unique by mocking me for it. So of course I avoid it most of the time.


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Danielismyname
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14 May 2007, 8:12 am

Cheerlessleader wrote:
I get nervous and my face twitches, ...


Cool...another twitcher like me. :wink:

To reiterate: I look past people rather than at them, otherwise my face starts twitching and/or I'll shake my head.



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15 May 2007, 10:52 pm

The reason it seems aggresive (imo) is because your anxious.. I've noticed if you breath slowly and become not-anxious it doesnt feel aggressive... but then it becomes more of a trance heh 8O

What NT's do is alternate between looking at the right and left eye at casual frequencies. And look away for a moment when a thought pops in their head or while thinking... its brainless stuff



skahthic
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16 May 2007, 1:00 am

I can look people in the eyes, but i don't tend to keep my eyes there for long. More like glances. As long as they knew i did then that should be fine. People that look (stare) into my eyes real hard are creepy. And some people are just creepy in general.
I find it much easier if i know the person and if the person in question isn't threatening.



HurricaneRae
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16 May 2007, 6:45 am

During my life I've gone from completely unable to look people in the eye to over compensating and staring people down to learning to balance the two, but it's still a very conscious and forced thing to make appear natural.