What is the best way to deal with sociopaths?

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I am happy I don't know any of them in real life so I would try and avoid them if I can if I did know one.

Since people are talking about narcissism in this thread, after I had been reading about it, I can now spot them easily and looking back I realize which people online I have correspond with were narcissists. I knew they had issues then but I didn't know what they were. But since it's online they could just be professor trolls than narcissists so I think it would be harder to tell online who is a narcissist because they could just be a troll but I had realized my brother's ex girlfriend is a narcissist and I can spot them on the Dr. Phil show and I realized my ex was one too. I am not sure about the first if he was a sociopath or not but I agree with my mother now he did have big problems. There is no winning with them, the only way to win is to move on, go no contact, and live happy. Then they no longer have power or control over you.

If you have any tips or for spotting them, I'd be interested to hear them. Recent revelations are making me second guess everyone.

How do you know this person is a sociopath? Is it something in bodylanguage or tone of voice?

I can recognize people i should stay away from, but only after i had a couple of conversations. (Or in my case interrogations, i always ask people a lot of questions)

They usually have low self esteem so they put others down, are overly jealous so they put others down, they are usually controlling, they gaslight, not take any responsibility for their actions, they lie about themselves and the things they have done and the achievements they have received or lie about being abused, they are always the victim, they will exaggerate and make things up to make themselves took good, they are selfish, they will put their partner down usually and they dismiss your feelings and will also blame your feelings on you and may even feeling police you. They also cannot see from another perspective even if you tell them yours. They will also ignore you until you act the way they want you to act. They also blame their problems and mistakes on others and it's always someone else's fault, never their own hence not taking any responsibility for themselves. These are all common behaviors I see that scream out narcissist and sometimes a person can do something that is narcissist but it doesn't necessarily make them one.

Thanks for posting this League_Girl
The difficulty comes in spotting the covert narcissists. The one I know is good at hiding the hallmark traits and comes off as being altruistic.
"They also cannot see from another perspective even if you tell them yours." <-- This is probably the most frustrating trait to deal with. I kept thinking it was I who wasn't doing an adequate job at explaining myself.

^ This might help too.

http://www.wikihow.com/Spot-a-Sociopath

Coverts are the worst because they are more hidden and harder to spot. They usually are shy and have anxiety and depression and feel invisible in social situations and anxious. They are considered to be low functioning on the narcissistic spectrum. My ex was a covert narcissist and he said he had AS but I think his aspie traits were actually narcissistic traits and he fits the profile of a covert narcissist and it explains his behavior and the contradictions, his actions didn't match his words for one. They do overlap but aspies shouldn't be toxic people and they usually try to be better people and always feel bad when they hurt someone and offend them and they try to work around their challenges and do their best unless they want to use it as an excuse. But anyone can be an a**hole and not every a**hole is a narcissist. Also some do use labels to hide behind it. Mine just used Asperger's and I think it's very possible to be both. Narcissists are not immune to having disabilities and other mental disorders and illnesses.

A few examples about why I think my ex was a narcissist:

He had my dish network thing as I had written about it here:

viewtopic.php?t=28648

I had tremendous anxiety about it and thank goodness I didn't have any children then because stress does affect me and affect my functioning and anything can set me off because I don't have as many coping skills so I am freaking out on others and having rage attacks so with children it would have been prominent. When my ex did finally give it back to me, i told him how it affected me and what I went through about it and he said he didn't have to take it down and take it with him because it would have been thrown away. It made it sound like I was blaming my problem on him and I still would have had that issue if he didn't take it with him so it wasn't his fault. This is an example of narcissism and them saying it's not their fault.

He had some inconsistencies in his stories so I always questioned them and would say things like "I thought you said he was seven when it happened?" and he would get defensive. He told me things like "I never said that you did." I remember the time he told me his ex accused him of raping her oldest daughter so she had to do a lie detector test and then he said she never was given one because she was underage, only 13 so only he took one.

He had to tell his son everything about me and everything we talk about every little flaw I did or every little thing I took literal or seriously as if it were his business. This was him trying to humiliate me so basically he involved his son in his abuse. which is a form of child abuse when you involve them in your abuse. But one thing about it is how this is a bad idea because his kid could repeat things about me and his mother would have read between the lines and use it against her ex in court to keep fighting to keep full custody. Not a very smart move on my ex.

I had to walk on eggs shells and I felt I had to keep my feelings bottled up or it would upset him and I had to be careful how I worded things and how I said it because he could take it the wrong way

He seemed to take offense to none offensive things that were not even there but he said I implied it but yet he took non offensive things I said literal but wouldn't take my "offensive" things literal. Notice the pattern?

He would get upset and say I was making him look like a control freak and he had to listen to everything I said and what we talked about on the phone so I had to wait when he was at work or go outside to call my parents. I suspect he has been accused of being a control freak or else he wouldn't have said I was making him look like one and how he doesn't want to be one so instead he changed the way he did it and was trying to keep others from thinking that of him.

He worried too much what people thought of him, I think this was his way of trying to control what others think of him. Not that he had OCD or social anxiety.

He said he felt like he was with an 8 year old or with a 5 year old so he wanted nothing to do with me unless I acted mature enough for him. He even said things like he didn't want me to change unless I want to because he doesn't want to be a control freak. He used AB/DL against me and saw everything about me as a baby and doing it 24/7 and then he changed it to 18/7 when I argued about it.

He didn't make me do things he wanted me to do but he often made it feel like I had to do it or else it would get upset with me and call me self centered and ignore me. Another form of control here. Then he would say "I don't want you to do that just because I want you to, I don't want to be a control freak."


There are more but these are just examples here about my ex and why I think he was a narcissist.

^ Yep, a lot of those are very familiar to me.

very handy, thanx