Can people just automatically sense if you are on spectrum?

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it is also amplified if one does not have the normal old person features such as baldness and obesity. if one is slender, dresses youthfully [form-fitting clothing] and long-haired [ponytail in my case] it worsens the uncanny valley. people don't know what to make of me.

Oh your look sounds wonderful to me, though!

thank you! you know how to make an old guy feel better about himself

I have sensed it, on a few occasions. It consists of a rather pleasant feeling of being in sync, or aligned with the person, or, subtly, connected in a way. (...My diagnosis isn't visible on my profile, yet, it's AS/HFA, if it should matter)

Last edited by Kelby on 23 Dec 2017, 3:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

I work in a relationship management role and I am extremely perceptive and it took me over 5 years to put a label on my fiance's behaviour.

I knew that something was different within about 20 minutes of meeting her. After our second date (on a Sunday), she invited me for dinner the following Friday. When I didn't hear a thing from her by Wednesday, I rang her to check if she wanted to cancel. She was shocked that I "needed" her to reconfirm the date. She pretty much said "I told you that we were meeting on Friday, why would you need me to call you before Friday?".

We can just say that people didn't grow up in expressive household or that they are "straight shooters" but most NTs simply feel like an ASD might not be "warm".

I feel the exact same way. I'm always really scared that people can tell something is wrong with me just by looking at me or hearing me talk. I always try to appear as normal as possible but the fact that no one is ever willing to start interactions with me leads me to believe that everyone can instantly tell I'm on the spectrum. I hate how I live in an area where everyone is so prejudiced against people who don't fit the norm. There are 35 students at my university who I can tell are on the spectrum and I almost never see any neurotypical students talk to them. It pisses me off.

Hahahaha, great diagnosis, it always helps me to put labels on things.

I think what they can feel and literally smell is the person being in stress (it is like animals can see/feel fear) and honestly that is not so pleasent, comforting, view. Also because of the stress, the body language is little bit more stiff (and may look "not to be warm"). The more you think about it, the worse it gets.

NTs are also worried about social situations (just different level) and generally they want to group mainly with people who can help them to grow their status. Usually, AS are not the ones. The times can change though.

And about the honeymoon period - I think it is because AS relationships are harder to maintain (eventhough I think their relationships are deeper and more honest, it is not worth the work for most people). In general, majority of people are just lazy and searching for the easiest way, nothing personal against AS.

It usually has to do with body language. The way you carry yourself, your postures, facial gestures, arm placement, and eye contact are all seemingly small things that greatly affect your body language. A major thing is to not just slouch and look at the ground as you walk. You should look forward and to where your destination is. Another thing is to not have your arms in an awkward place like crossed at your chest or above your stomach like a t-rex dinosaur (I used to do this and it's a dead giveaway). Don't be afraid to give a small smile at people as you by them, but don't wave at them unless it's someone trying to get your attention. If you imitate the way neurotypical people walk and behave, it should help out a lot.

People don't sense that I am on the spectrum, especially if I am comfortable with them and chatty. I know this because a close colleague of mine has a son with Asperger's, and a few months ago I heard he had such an intense meltdown (from a social or sensory overload), that he had to be hospitalized then needed therapy from an adult support worker. I never told this colleague of mine that I am on the spectrum. But a few weeks ago I was having a panic attack at work, and she was sitting with me. I said, "what if I'm hospitalized?" and she said, "no you won't be". I was worried in case the same will happen to me as it did with her Aspie son, so I said, "but your son was hospitalized", and then she said, "yes but my son has something called Asperger's", and the way she said it meant she didn't know that I have the same disorder as her son. And she's a rather understanding woman, with an extra understanding of what Asperger's and autism is, and I spend a lot of time working with her, so if she (a mother of a diagnosed Aspie son) didn't guess that I have Asperger's then I'm sure the majority of NTs who DON'T have much of a knowledge about autism will never guess, as I literally display no stereotypical autism traits.

However, I think if I'm shy or nervous around someone, they might guess that I could be a little autistic, because when I'm nervous of someone I tend to speak in a formal tone (like a monotone) and not speak in complete sentences like I normally do. I don't know if that screams out autism or if it just makes me appear strange to them.

People know there’s “something odd” about me. They can’t quite put a finger on it, though.

I'll admit, people did think I was a bit odd when I was younger. As I've gotten older however, I've learned to really not care what they think about me. I'm me, and that's the way it is whether they like it or not.

I think people can usually tell that there's something "off" about me. I tend to creep people out. Especially if I'm having one of my bad days in which case I tend to look rather similar to the stereotypical "low-functioning" autistic. Eg. No eye contact, poor posture, nonverbal, rocking, pacing, flapping, "spacey", etc.

If I'm having a good day I still do these things but it's less pronounced. And heaven forbid I have a meltdown in public.

someone at the bus stop told me i was "schizophrenic". (oh, so close).

on a different day, someone else at the bus stop said "he's kind of slow". the speaker said he saw me on the bus and i moved like i was paranoid someone might hurt me.

many times, someone explicitly told me "you don't look autistic" or "you're not autistic". seriously? none of them are psychologists. they can't give out diagnoses.

big egoed extroverts.

big mouths

I'm a physical therapy assistant student currently in doing a clinical at a long term rehab center. I spend my day surrounded by OT-Rs, OT-Ls, COTAs, PTs, PTAs, and an extremely intelligent and knowledgeable speech therapist. I follow a PTA around, and we have a lot of discussions about various personal things, just to help the day go by and to get to know each other, I'm sure. The rehab team in question has accepted me as a student with open arms. The nursing staff at the facility doesn't seem overly friendly, but they don't have a good reputation either, they seem like they don't like their jobs.

So far I've been there two weeks, and tomorrow I'll be starting my third week in the facility. As far as I know, nobody knows or suspects I'm autistic. Heck, one of the PTAs asked me to tag along with him for an exceptionally difficult patient who refused treatment with him the day prior, and I did so. I joked around with the patient such as the patient grumpily says, "Don't run over my toes.", and I respond, "I wouldn't think of running over your toes, but if your put your fingers on the ground its open season." As the other PTA and I joked with the patient and each other, the patient proceeded to go to the gym and worked with us and had fun doing it.

I have four weeks left in this clinical, so we'll see what happens. Right now I'm being treated pretty nicely. It's very hard to pull off this level of NT-simulation though, especially when I'm learning to know the patients along with a staff of 30 or so people, the location of everything, planning the schedule for the day based on the types of patients I receive, etc. I'm exhausted by the end of the day. But it's not like there's some "sixth sense" that somehow rejected me, either.

Food for thought.

The OP hasn't been back since the day after he posted this topic. I hope he has found his way.

I have absolutely no doubt that people who meet me know that I am different within a very short time. I also think I often know when I meet someone on the spectrum. I'm sure there are people on the spectrum that have such mild differences from NT's that they can blend in more easily and then some blend in less than they realize.

I think it would be immensely helpful to teach the general public about the nuances of communicating with us.
I would be so grateful if people would stop trying to fix me or take advantage of me.