How to make more friends on WP

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Sorry, I did reply to the pm & don't know what happened to it! Sent another. Anybody else sent 1 I either didn't get or they didn't receive my reply, please let me know!? Or email me!.

I have had the courage to PM some people and I get upset when they don't reply so I figure they maybe don't like me or I said something wrong. Only time I don't care if I don't get a reply is if I never asked a question in it. I just assume they had nothing to say. But what I find most annoying is when people send me a PM asking me a question and I answer it and I see they have never even read the reply. Same as when people send me a PM and don't even bother reading my reply.

Now I wonder if it could be a glitch and maybe they did reply and it didn't go through. I can always email them again asking if they replied or not and if they did, it didn't go through. But I am always shy and I try and over come it but at the same time I am scared too because then I might end up saying more inappropriate things. I open up more when I am not shy and I say more things. Also the fact I don't want to come off as a stalker or clingy or come off as the wrong way.

Some of that may be helped if the other person is in another country. You're really going to fly to England, for instance & find where, say, I live, to 'stalk' me. Hopefully, you don't think that idea would seem at all likely to me or to most people?

No, you can stalk people online. I have been told I sound stalkish a few times. Some people think they are being stalked when you keep contacting them online and they have never even told you they don't want to chat and stuff.


I've been stalked before online and that was because this person kept IMing me and I told him I didn't want to be his friend and all but he wouldn't listen. When I block him, he IM me under a new sn. He was hard to get rid of. Now he occasionally IMs me but every after two years now. The next time, it might be 2011. The last time was this past spring and before it was in 2007.

Suppose there'll always be some strange people, even here! Should I promise to let you know if you seem 'stalkish' to me?

I think usually on WP it's fairly safe to just ask somebody if you said something wrong. Doesn't everyone here have that issue of not being sure if you said something right or wrong? And have lots of reasons for possibly not responding to something, like not knowing what to say, or putting it off to think of the right response and then awhile going by and it seems too late.. I dunno, maybe in the real world it's not always a good idea to ask people if you've upset them, but I usually would here. I don't know why someone would not even read your response, though.. that seems weird.
Usually in PMs I think I mostly just stick to whatever it was that I didn't want to say in the forum for whatever reason. Probably mostly just because I get nervous.

Oh, I was gonna respond about the cyber-stalking, but you beat me to it..
And if you use the same name in a lot of places, it's easy to track you down.. I really probably use the same name in way too many places.. I'm not good at thinking up new ones.
On SL you can call it "stalking" to just teleport to where someone is, but you have to give them permission to be able to do that anyway, so that's more of a joke.


A lot of people also put their instant messenger names into their profile, so they IM people from WP. And if you do SL too, or IMVU, or other virtual worlds, then you actually can kinda do things with people.. it's possible to pretty effectively "hang out" with people online.

I don't know. But it might scare me off thinking I don't want to come off that way so I'll just wait for you to PM me instead. I tend to take some things to extreme like if you got mad at me for saying something or said I was rude, I am too scared to even talk. I wonder if that's why people don't tell me I was rude and stuff because they don't want me to get too upset I don't speak or am too afraid to.





I was chatting to a none aspie here. I admire what he says and he isn't one of those people who pulls the AS card on us excusing our bad behavior. But when when I asked him some things like if he has seen Benny & Joon or ever been to Spokane or been to my hometown since he lives in the same state my parents live in and not far from them. He didn't respond. I did ask him if I said something wrong and he said no problem and he has been busy. I assume that was a no then but if he has been busy, how has he still been making posts here? Mmmm. I am done chatting with him then, waste of my time unless he wants to PM me.
Yeah even none aspies do this too and can't answer a simple question.
Gee how hard is that? I think if people can make posts here, then they have time to reply to a PM but I don't buy the busy crap.
I feel he wasn't honest with me.
I had another aspie who wasn't replying to my PMs and I thought I did something in real life that upset him. But it was a fortunate I had his phone number so I called him. Turns out it was because he wasn't in town anymore so he didn't reply. I told him why didn't he say so, he left me worrying I had done something wrong. Then he apologized for it.

I dunno about that.. it can take me awhile to respond to PMs cause I have to think about it and I get all nervous and stuff. But a lot of times with posts, stuff just pops into my head. And I'll post even when I should be doing something else, 'cause posting doesn't make me so nervous usually.

Yeah same here, it has taken me days or hours to respond to a PM. Sometimes it's due to laziness and then I get to it. I give people some time to respond. Is it possible to forget to reply to a PM? Once a message has been opened, it's not going to say anymore "1 new message."


But with posting, it takes me a while to even make one because I am trying to think before I say things so it doesn't come off all wrong, making sure I am not getting off topic or saying irrelevant things, not getting too detail and thinking of what else I should say. I used to say lot of stupid stuff when I started posting in 2002 (I don't mean here) because I say what comes to my head and then I'd see I have read a post wrong or my answer was already there or I should have kept reading other posts to get my answer. Then there be no way to go back and edit my post or delete it. Now I am careful. I have deleted my posts here a few times right after I make them thinking "Maybe I shouldn't have said this" and bam I delete it. A couple times someone was responding to my post so after I delete mine, they post their reply and bam my quote would be there.
Other times I am just too lazy to even make a reply and I am like "I'll reply later" "I don't feel like answering this." I am like this a lot but yet have managed to make over 8,000 posts in the last two years. Sometimes I am not up for making an essay about my life and problems when responding to someones thread.

Who to call friend or not is sensitive to me. I cant say anybody is my friend in an introducing stage. That comes during the time you get to know each other and I would feel it in my heart as and if it grows...

I would more than anything love to make friends here and have been reading this thread, thinking of how to reply
I have been here for some months and this forum which saves my basic need of social interaction on the internet

But this forum is very huge and Im feeling so tiny and overwhelmed. Its sooo much information and so many people! Nobody knows ME!
I miss to have internet friends very much. Unfortunately Im very bad at PMs. It feels like email and I dont like quotings but free spontanious text
Like chat or to have a special thread, a friendly corner where a group as individuals would suit me

But it is NOT impossible to compromise with me and to find solutions and ways to talk so it can feel okay from both sides!!

One day I added "just a random somebody" turned out wrong as we had completely diffrent view of life and that screwed up the general talkings.
Also it was a "not sure if I have it or not" user, making me very uncertain as I didnt understand all she(or he?) said
Im straight forward myself and probably need someone who is more certain on her diagnosis...
I have added people from WP on MSN but we have never talked actually, I dont know how to start which is a pity as Im affraid of questions

Therefore I state below how I use WP:

I like to say random things in the random forum most of the time, spontanious and everydayish stuff
I like to pop into threads when I feel connected to the subject and share my own experiences
Sometimes Im in the "support mood" and I hang around The Haven, trying to cheer people up
Sometimes Im in the "welcoming newbies mood" and hang around the get to know each other forum
I cant stand the adult forum and have even set my forum age to be so low so its filtered out for my view
I never visit the PPR forum, dont understand it and have no opinions of that kind
I never visit the Love dating and parent forums, because I have a husband but no children

If you feel connected to any of this or simply love YouTube, then you are welcome to contact me and give it a try....

im not really sure how i have made friends in the real world, i suppose im likeable enough, but i dont even remember how i became friends with most people, just close proximity and time. on here, i guess you just start talking to people, pm them until someone talks back.

I think that's why I put so many qualifiers into my posts... I seem to always be saying things like "This is a bit off-topic, but ________" or "This just made me think of ______ so I had to say it" or "I could be wrong, but I think______" or "I'm exhausted and not thinking too clearly, but _______." Also because I've learned that people on WP will let me take things back if I realize that what I said was stupid or didn't make sense, or amend that I said if I didn't say it well.. In the real world, I'm always afraid to say things because they'll stick with me even if I change my mind, or realize that it sounded like I said something I didn't mean to say. But people here are more forgiving of that, so I just say what I'm thinking, because I can always clarify later, and maybe someone else will have something along the same lines to say that will help me to clarify what I was thinking. So if I hold it back for fear of it coming out wrong, then I won't get the chance to hear how someone else can improve on the idea and help it to come out right.

Time stamp on his post: Tue Nov 24, 2009 9:04 pm

Time stamp on your post complaining about a lack of response: Wed Nov 25, 2009 8:54 am

(Time stamps are as they appear in my time zone.)

That is less than 12 hours. I read that he said he'd replied, but if he hadn't, he might have been sleeping, working, any number of things. You can't expect people to always be sitting at their computer, always ready to reply to a message from you.

You can tell they have been on here when you see their new posts.

Right.. but like I pointed out.. replying to a post where a response jumps into your head isn't the same as replying to a PM where you're going to have to say what you mean correctly because it's only being said to one person and there aren't other people to help you to clarify it.. There are lots of times I reply to posts before replying to PMs... PMs feel like way more pressure most of the time. (Maybe that's silly.. )

Hi, Spokane Girl

I have just about read the latest posts here and I can understand how you feel around seeing someone around but not replying your PM.
I can only refer to myself and how I work in this. To me sending PMs require a higher climb and more effort than it do to pop by the forum and give a random general reply somewhere.
This, doesnt mean I have lack of interest of either the person, or ignoring the person who is waiting for me replying.

I havent had much PM contact with people here and I dont know anyone close at all. But I do know that it sometimes can block me to write PMs and it wont be done. Thats because I can hesitate on what to say and not.
For example someone asked if we could chat on IM and I thought "I need to think about that" but that thinking went so long that I at the end forgot to reply. Thats my reason why I dont PM because the thinking of how to reply goes so far away in time that I at the end forgets it.
So I would think its good if someone say to me "why dont you reply my PM??!" than I get reminded of it and reply faster than fast!!

You know, to make friends is way more difficult for us than for others, we have to struggle more with it. I think it is important to be open to each other and to be honest. To say I dont know how to reply, sorry or say, this doesnt feel good we are too diffrent but it was nice trying or anything. Then you dont have to worry, then you know.

Everyone can not like everyone but we all need time to find out who we work with in friendship and not. It goes in a process getting to know each other by time. Having patience and give the other part time to reflect in between can be good.

As for you. I appreciated your PM enormously much. Our great talkings we had the other day is priceless!