How Does it feel to not have friends?

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I'm not completely friendless, but feel like it most days. I like to keep myself busy with schoolwork or my job, but if I slow down for just two seconds, I feel lonely. It turns into a thinking cycle I find very hard to break from.

I understand having a social life will not make me happier, necessarily. At this stage, though, I don't want to be happy. I want my life to have a dynamic element to it. I want to share experiences with people, to grow closer to them. I have one (NT) friend I share a very close bond with, so I know what it's like. And God does it feel good. I never see him, btw, because he lives some distance from me.

The most frustrating thing is that my social skills have improved at an exponential rate. Especially living where I do (DC) where so many survive on social skills. I guess people down here are just not that interested in my personality.

I'm glad I have old friends I can see if I choose and it's fortunate that they are middle aged couch potatoes also, but If I had people calling me and dropping by all the time I really think I would hate it. I do see a former neighbor but I can only tolerate about an hour.

Amen to that. It is not like I dislike others but I don't want to be around them or them around me much of the time. I have a very defined concept of personal space and I tend to keep others out of it much of the time. This seems to work for me much of the time.