Do you want to be social or do you feel like you have to.

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I wish to be. I am extroverted at heart but I still say next to nothing in large groups and feeling like burying myself in a hole. My extrovert side tends to come out in my dress sense and make-up on the occasions I wear it. I always look forward to biggish social events and they excite me greatly, I always promise myself I'll be more openly outgoing next time but I always end up the same. Barely saying a thing.

It's a confusing bit of both for me.

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THINGS I LIKE
Parasaurolophus, Plesiosaurs, Dinosaurs, Pterosaurs, Music, Tuna, Chocolate milk, Oreos, Blue things

Parasaurolophuscolobus. Parasaurcolobus. Colobusaurolophus.
....And Nunchucks are my friends.

Both. I like interacting with pleasant people, but I run out of things to talk about even with the best of them after a few hours. I sometimes do okay in small groups but I do TERRIBLE at parties. Its usually loud so my ability to interpret sound is even WORSE and then people frequently discuss subjects either I know nothing of and/or have no interest in them. People are building up resentment against me today because I made up a poor excuse for not going out for a beer earlier (I should have just been honest and said I was EXHAUSTED) and not going out to bars tonight. I am resentful that people are resentful! Sometimes I think it would be easier just to let everyone know I have aspergers and give me my space, but then I suspect it would be turned against me in the long run when too many people found out.

Socializing is something the more you do the more easier it becomes. In the beginning when talking to strangers, I picked every word and action carefully now it just a no-brainer. Although it is still hard when I am going through episodes and ADHD flares up. I think it got easy after I started hanging out with my roomates who are always meeting people. Then again I am lucky to have some very nice roomates. I've also had some horrible experiences with some roomates in the past. I am a very reserved person so it is hard to be in the company of strangers.

Half the time I do and half the time I don't.

Although I have a few meaningful friendships that I enjoy, I feel like I always get socially exhausted more than most people and need way more time alone than most people do. It's not that I don't appreciate my friends, but I feel like the rest of the world always has very high social expectations of me...that I should have closer and more meaningful relationships than I do have. Even in the recent past, I have had a lot of trouble knowing myself and knowing what I want in a friend, so a ton of people came and went out of my life...and I find it hard to conform to the social expectation to "know a lot of people". My fear is that the people I am trying to keep around will question my past and wonder where all my connections are.

In general I dislike people. I only do semi-social things to say ive done my part to my therapist and psychiatrist. My psychistrist wanted me to start at least talking to people online, which i have no desire to do. so posting on forums is my compromise.
Oh I also like to play table top RPGs like D&D, but its only with like 2-4 people who arent family, and I tolerate them at best.
I pretty much only like family, and even then I sometimes have to leave the room because they get too loud or what is being said is so stupid it is literally messing with my train of thought and i cant concentrate.

I want to be but I can't as long as some scars of my past are erased.

Other then that, I am not too good in Social Situations anyway.

id say both... sometimes I don't want to be bothered. Other times, I want to be part of the group, but I'm afraid of getting too comfortable and saying something out of line or offensive. Or just turning people off with my opinions/overall thought processes.

I found out that I've hurt people with things said in jest.

In public I try to maintain basic social convention. As a whole though, few will pursue you for covnersation past "hello", so it is easy to just be polite and greet those you know a fair amount. I do have covnersations with those I trust, however.

As far as feling like I have to, that has never been an issue for me. I almost ignore people completely when I want to be left alone. Usually, though, I end up sharing my songs/sketches anyways (it works for social networking with other artists quite well.)

I have never wanted to be social. I prefer and have always preferred to be in my own mind, doing my own thing, being on my own. I’m as solitary and aloof by nature as can get. I’ve seldom met anyone IRL that even remotely interests me, so why would I want to spend time with them?
People (especially teachers) have tried to make me want to socialise most of my life to no avail, since I’m only interested in what I’m interested in.
The few times I actually do find a person interesting, are the only times I am troubled by my inability to be social, because that’s the only times it matters to me. I will never understand why anyone want to make friends per se, I only understand wanting to get to know particular individuals. Same for relationships; I understand wanting to get to be with someone you fancy, but I don’t understand wanting to be with someone just to have someone.

So in my case the answer to “Do you want to be social or do you feel like you have to” is neither. I do not want to be social and I do not feel like I have to.

I unfortunately feel forced at work. Luckily I don't have this at my campus but at work my god.. <.<

My boss just found out recently that I am an Aspy. By nature I tend to not want to go to parties like at the bar where heavy alcohol an sexual scenes can take place. I always wanted to get out there and be social but I could never figure it out. Don't get me wrong. I love hanging out with friends. Its just making those friends that bug me sometimes. any who regarding my boss.

She keeps telling me that she is going to 'teach' me how to be social and get out there. Ummm I don't think you can really teach anyone that. At least to a point you can't . its a self taught thing. I could be wrong. But my manager/boos and some of my co-workers have asked me to join them in certain outings.. first off I don't really trust them and second.. its just not my scene unless its clean fun. Another Example is when my boss told me we were allowed to wear baseball stuff for work instead of normal attire. well I don't have anything like that.. so my manager tells me I am a stick in the mudd..... REALY?! and then the next day tells me she thought she gave me enough 'confidence' to go out and do stuff. O.O my boss is stupid.... <.< or just doesn't get it..

its late for me so I will break for now. I don't type well and tend to hop subjects so I apologize if I make no sense.

good night all -_-Zzzzzzzz

Update: Oh also to answer the question... I feel like half and half... on both halfs of the question... If you want me to.. I can elaborate later when I am not so tired..

I only feel forced to be social in certain situations, but most of the time i just like being social.

I don't enjoy being social in situations were there are a number of people I don't know or if its forced social interaction with people I have little in common with. A big occasion like a party or a wedding is a social nightmare for me as it combines the two. I definitely don't crave it, as I can go weeks at a time without feeling loneliness. But I do enjoy being in the company of the small circle of friends that I do have. I do hope to become more open though, as it would be nice to have more friends I can interact with.