clubbing & pubbing alone & getting depressed

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I LOVE clubbing.

I LOVE dancing.

and although I prefer going with friends, I met my friends by going by myself. It was quite daunting going alone but I would have a few drinks, start dancing and let it all go.

I guess im a little lucky in that I dont have many inhabitions but when im drunk I have virtually no inhabitions.

I have made some great friends in the last 3 years (since coming out gay as well as understanding Asperger's, which im still waiting for a formal diagnosis).

I am more confident going out knowing my friends will be there rather than going out and not knowing anyone, but even with my friends I still need 'me' time and go off dancing by myself.

I also have a set routine of what bar I go to 1st and what time I try and get there, then off to the club. Sometimes it doesnt go to plan. My friends want to go somewhere else 1st, or meet up with thier friends that I dont know (which is still awkward for me metting new people) but I have learnt to go with the flow and often find that if I shut down my expectations and try not to organize and re-organize then I can still have just as much fun.

In fact I would say that sometimes, when my evening is unplanned and I have my 'go with the flow' head on, I can have more fun.

I also have times where I wont go out. I hide from everyone and lock my door and avoid the phone calls asking me what time I will be at the bar...!

It can be a fine line for me but if I dont want to go out, I dont. If I do... I DO! And I do it well

Im very good at making a fool of myself as well but I work very hard not to let that bother me and I think I do a good job. I have noticed that everybody can make a fool of themselves when drunk so in a way I appear to be normal by being foolish - and its something to talk about the next day lol