Others think more highly of you than you do...

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Pugly
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31 May 2009, 11:31 am

This always throws me off guard. To me I have a certain downtrodden, fumbling, bumbling idiot perception of myself.... especially socially. I always view myself as a social misfit.

But others often think otherwise. To ethers I'm odd, but likable. In fact my temperament is such that I can get along with most anyone, just by 'being myself'... I don't have to put on a show. The only people that don't like me are the ones who are super, uptight and have unflinching social expectations.

Otherwise it seems people like me more than I think they do or would.

I'd do more socializing and approaching of people if I could get the outsider perspective of myself, but I often view myself as a social failure... when I'm not really...


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Homer_Bob
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31 May 2009, 11:39 am

My case seems to be the same. I feel if I knew how to socialize right, I'd be able to make friends very easily. People do like me but I seem to either not be able to notice it or they think I'm not interested.



robbokris
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31 May 2009, 12:24 pm

I can realte here but in a different way. My parents and fellow peers think that I'm a lot more intelligent than what I do, also my parents don't think I'm as bad socially as what I actually am.



MONKEY
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31 May 2009, 3:01 pm

I have a low perception of myself, because I'm always aware of myself so I think I'm some idiot that can't socialise for s**t but other people tell me how nice I am and they say I'm a good friend which surprises me and I think they're just lying to be polite, almost like I'm slightly paranoid.


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Pugly
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31 May 2009, 3:12 pm

That's always my concern, I know people say things just to be nice and try to improve my feelings. I'm always paranoid about what people truly think about me.

So much of my observation of this has to be indirect.

It's actually my natural inclination to social isolation that causes this. The more people I interact with in long term capacities the better I feel socially.

I give horrible first impressions... it takes a long time for people to 'get' me... and I'm so shy and inconspicuous that I sort of fly under the radar. Eventually though, people realize I'm unique and strange... but also funny, clever, patient and honest. I also grow more comfortable in showing my 'zanny' fun side.

At work I made a comment, that had all of those around me laughing. I didn't even think what I said was that funny... I also didn't know how to 'sell' it and draw more laughs. But this non-offensive dry wit is more endearing than I think it is...

I just need to get into more situations where people can take the time to get to know me...


_________________
Wonder what it feels like to be in love?
How would you describe it, like a push or shove?
Guess I could pretend that this is all I need
Wanting more than what I have might appear as greed.


Johnklok
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31 May 2009, 6:05 pm

Sometimes at my job I think my coworkers(mainly just the ones in my department, which is comprised mostly of my peers), are deliberately bugging me to get me angry. I even assume as much to see eveything as a systematic movement to get me fired or in trouble, because I've always been seen as an odd person because I don't express myself well socially, or at least I used to be worse at it. Going along w/being disliked or even pittied by others, I tend to be a bit more negative around those whom I feel see me this way. I only feel this way because I know though experience and observation that people do have tendancies to use general exclusion tactics...and they think it's 'instinctual'. I mean I can see containing/submitting someone temporarily for the sake of moderating a situation and or problem, but "man, we should get that person out of our 'scene', we just not diggin their vibe...merely because we're putting forth the effort to observe and b***h about it ouselves" So basically people can easily get screwed for not being cool, because have some improvised reason for claiming one is not "keeping up". Though I was told in a discussion w/my superiors the other day that they think I'm great at my job, and hear nothing but good things from most people that work there, even people in other departments...so yea lately I've just been focusing more on doing better at my job, and I guess focusing even more so, and less on my peers. But it is a pain in the ass having no social life, so I just try to humor the people I work w/from time to time....I just didn't think 'simple disagreements' meant 'potential excommunication'. =\