Showing interest in people..

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Ok, this has always confused the hell out of me.

How do you show that you like someone, think they're cool, whatever, without seeming like a dork, seeming too interested, seeming manipulative or like you want something from them, or seeming like you're hitting on them? And how do you tell what their responses mean?
I'm in a serious relationship, so obviously I wouldn't MEAN to flirt with anyone, but that doesn't mean that if I act overly interested in other people they won't think I'm hitting on 'em anyways. And I just never know what it is that lets people know that I like them without making them not like me, seeming needy, insecure, overwhelming, etc..
Especially with guys. Like, how do I tell if a guy is just being nice, or if he's hitting on me?
I don't want to seem all desperate for friends, but I think that I end up coming off as aloof and uninterested in people.. but I'm pretty sure that if I acted more interested, it'd be over-the-top.

Are there any good "landmarks" to follow? Any objective observations anyone has had on what people mean and how to tell them what you mean?

I often have the same problem. There's no hard and fast rule to showing people that you like them; generally smiling at them helps, as does laughing when they tell a joke. Asking questions about them also shows interest, although you have to be careful to show interest in the answer too (otherwise people think you're just being polite). Hanging around them usually shows people that you like them too. (Sorry, this stuff is kind of basic; you probably know it already).

With regards to being mistaken for flirting, generally, so long as you're not acting over the top (laughing at every sentence and constantly flicking your hair/ eye-batting etc..), it doesn't matter if someone occasionally mistakes you for flirting with them: it happens all the time, even for NTs. Some people would argue that there's nothing wrong with flirting anyway, even if you are in a relationship; you're not promising the other party anything.

Maggiedoll, I am sorry to complicate this situation further for you, but there is something I must say in response to another person's reply. Someone mentioned that if a guy is being nice to you even after he finds out you have a boyfriend, he is probably interested in you for "you." This may be the case sometimes, but as I learned the hard way a while ago, women sometimes tell men they have boyfriends just to get the guy to leave them alone. Some guys KNOW this, and assume that if a girl tells them they have a boyfriend, all they have to do is keep trying or make a better impression in order to get into her pants. I think the best way to find out, as awkward as it will be, is to be perfectly blunt and honest with them. Just say, "I am having a hard time telling whether you're talking to me because you find me interesting or because you're interested in me in a romantic way." If the person stays in contact with you afterwards, it is an indication that they appreciated your honesty and would like to talk to you more. If they end the conversation abruptly and walk away, you will know they were only interested in you sexually. These are not rules set in stone of course, as social rules never are--they are simply guidelines that I hope will help you out!

I don't know, this is the one thing that I to this day cannot figure out for the life of me. I try to show interest without looking desperate but it doesn't work. Instead it still appears I'm not interested enough and people move on and eventually stop talking to me. It's happened to like twenty people now. When will the cycle end?

I'm not saying it isn't awkward at first, but with practice, you can get used to simply telling people what you think as long as you don't come across as super-judgmental. If I like talking to someone, I tell them I like talking to them. If I think someone's cute, I tell them I think they're cute. It may not be ideal, but it's a hell of a lot better than sitting there trying to figure out what to say!