HELP- What do I say?
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Background: One of my friends is moving to Canada (I'm in Australia) in a couple of days time. She plans to stay there for a year at the least. A few days ago, she posted a status update on Facebook that read
Quote:
Just when i thought i wouldn't cry........ the tears start falling.
I'm guessing that the most likely reasons for this are that she is thinking that she'll miss her friends, or that she is worried/nervous about moving to a new country, or both.
I would like to say something that lets her know that I care and that I don't want her to be crying, but I can't work out what to say or how to word it.
"I'll miss you" would seem to be one of the appropriate things to say, but the truth is that out of all my friends, she is the one who places the most social demands on me, and, as much as I like her and care about her, and as terrible as this probably sounds, the bulk of what I'm feeling is relief that my social obligations will be lessened. I don't want to say that, but I don't like lying.
Also, I'll be able to contact her via the internet, so it's not like she'll be totally cut out of my life. However, she places a lot of value on in-person interaction, and she won't see things as I do.
"You'll be fine" is closer to what I want to say, but it could be taken as "Get over it" rather than "I know you are able to deal with this." How can I word it so that it sounds like the latter?
To sum up: How do put "I might miss you, maybe, but not too much because I know I have a way of contacting you; I'm sad for any tears you've shed with regards to this situation, but I know you can deal with it, and I hope you have a good time" into words that won't hurt her feelings, and that sound less formal and stilted?
(Interpersonal communication is difficult.)
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Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
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how about something about how very social she is (sounds like it from what you said, anyways) and remind her that she can still contact you? (for that matter, webcams are, technically face-to-face, and almost ever laptop has one built in..)
"You're so good with people, I'm sure you'll be making lots of new friends, and remember that the world is so much smaller now in the days of the internet, it's not like you won't be able to see your old friends!"
..or something along those lines..
Maggiedoll wrote:
"You're so good with people, I'm sure you'll be making lots of new friends, and remember that the world is so much smaller now in the days of the internet, it's not like you won't be able to see your old friends!"
..or something along those lines..
..or something along those lines..
Niiice!
You might acknowledge how scary it must be to leave behind what she knows and venture into the unknown, and how much you are impressed by her courage. Provided you are, of course.
Oh, and you can also acknowledge that what she's feeling is normal. You could even say her crying makes you uncomfortable and you wish you could say something to take all her fears and tears away, because you don't like to see her suffer.
Sometimes, it's not so much that we need someone to fix our suffering, as just to acknowledge that we are... to be able to be with us while we work things our for ourselves.
