Buying and selling property

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As I'm selling my flat right now, it's occurred to me that this may be a particularly challenging thing for Aspies, when viewers come to see your property (or you are viewing a property you might be interested in buying).

There is a selling skill involved, and a negotiation skill, and a communication skill in decoding, interpreting and responding to viewers' questions (or seller's responses to your questions) - questions that usually involve neighbours and why you are moving. Which for me, if I answer honestly, I'll never sell, and there is a skill about being able to blag that more socially able people might use to get round selling difficulties.

I'd be interested in anyone else's experiences of home buying/selling from a social/communication skill point of view?

I would probably pay a real estate agent to sell the home. The 6% commission is better than trying to decode that stuff myself.

You do have to interview the agent though but if you look for what to ask (How many homes like mine have sold in the past 6 months, How many homes did you sell in the past 6 months,....). You also want an agent that will give you advice on what to do with the flat before you sell it take that advice seriously. An agent that does this for a living and does it well does know what they are talking about.

I assume the situation in Scotland is similar to how it is in England (although there are still important differences between Scottish and English property purchase law). If that's so, then the estate agent will look after most of the things you mention. Theoretically you don't even have to speak to any potential buyers -- the agent will show them around the property. You communicate through the estate agent. Eventually a buyer will make an offer through the agent. It will be significantly lower than you're looking for. You generally refuse the first offer, and wait for a better one. You've got to then make some judgment as to what to finally accept.

In England the contract isn't binding until a very late stage in the process. Things are better in Scotland, from the sellers point of view.

Keep in mind, too, that estate agents are down there with politicians and divorce lawyers when it comes to honesty. Treat whatever they say with caution.

Another point is that i think in Scotland solicitors might also act as the estate agents, but I'm not sure. It's just something I've a dim memory of after looking at Scottish property a while ago.

My home is being sold through an estate agent. However it's still myself who is present at the viewings. It's always been usual in my experience that when you view a property, the seller is present at the property, not an estate agent. Therefore I have to meet and speak to all the potential buyers, although as you say it's the estate agent they then make an offer to, not myself.

The estate agent has, however, offered to take over the viewings if they are made difficult, sabotaged or hijacked by youths hanging around causing trouble during viewings - which is a not unlikely scenario that could happen at any time, though fortunately hasn't happened yet. It's because of a year and a half of trouble and antisocial behaviour, and its effects on me, that I'm looking to move.

You are right, solicitors usually double up as estate agents, here in Scotland.

It's very intrusive. I had to drop everything and do a major clean at a moment's notice (I have indoor dogs, muddy paws etc) so the agent could bring someone around. Despite making it clear that needed prior warning, one day she turned up unannounced with a client and expected to walk in. You can't call the place your own once you've decided to sell, and you're at the beck and call of agents who think they have a prospective buyer, so expect to find the process annoying.

Maybe things are a bit different up there. When I've viewed properties there's nearly always been an estate agent present. I've looked over dozens at various times. Similarly, when someone's viewed a property I was selling, they've always had the agent accompany them. You could pretend you're going to be at work, and drop a key off at the agents. But of course that may not be practical.


I remember you writing about this previously. I sympathise. I used to live on the edge of a large council estate in a city in England. The area had had riots a while before i moved in, and a contingent of armed drug dealers (automatic weapons and grenades, reportedly). The house i lived in, and those adjacent, were all privately owned. Mainly older folk, apart from me. Most were decent salt of the earth kind of characters. The kids from the estate were feral, however. If you showed any sign of weakness they'd exploit it. I'm glad I moved out. I live in a village outside the city now. You'd not believe the difference. If there are young kids in the road making a noise at night and you remonstrate with them, they actually apologise and go home!

One of the things you might experience if you show the property yourself is bogus buyers, that's one of the reasons it's better to use an agent for showings, because they are often aware of scams and phony buyers.

In my case, although I had used an agent, I had a 'buyer' turn up to view the property - he was referred by the real estate agent but arrived at a different time to the appointment (saying he must've got the time wrong and could he have a look anyway), thus getting access to the seller without an agent present - he liked the house straight away and wanted to talk price (the agents had told me of some reservations about this buyer prior to him showing up at the wrong time) but it turned out that what he actually wanted was for me to make a private treaty with him in what they call 'wrap' finance, which means that I hand over the property to him and we have a private mortgage deal between the two of us, these 'wrap' finances are usually sought by people who have a bad credit rating and as such they can't get finance from banks. They can work for people who can't otherwise get finance to pay off a mortgage and they usually are at higher interest rates than banks, (they used to get a bit of coverage on current affairs shows in the 'make a fortune from real estate' genre), but I'm not interested in that sort of proposition.

I'm quite surprised that an agent would encourage you to show the property yourself. Presumably their fees are a lot cheaper than an agent who will do the work of showing the property to clients.