How do NT's have a conversation with surrounding chaos?

Post Reply New Topic

I was just wondering about this as I was invited to a dinner with some other people. I found the interaction frustrating as I can't handle the distractions. Someone will ask me a question about my research (not simple to explain) and then as soon as I start to talk it's "excuse me, could you please pass the bread" time. Then as soon as I regather my train of thought the waiter comes and interrupts once more.... then a loud motorcycle takes off outside.... then an obnoxious hyena laugh goes off at the table next to us.

After that I just gave up trying. No NT's are ever as bothered by this kind of crap as I am. They just take it all in stride. They never get anxious and discombobulated like I do. What gives?

Also, why does it always feel like I get interrupted proportionately more often than anyone else when I get the least amount of time speaking?

The tendency of people with AS to get distracted by noises more often than other people is commonplace if not virtually uniform. I've noticed that I, personally, have gotten better at shutting out noise as I got older - when I was a toddler, my mother reported that once I stepped outside into the streets of Montréal I would have my hands covering my ears and appear to be in great distress. It's not nearly that bad now. Also note that people without AS may have trouble with this as well, albeit generally not as much. If the noises are indeed loud, then if you suggest moving to a quieter location the other person may be sympathetic.

Being interrupted all the time, I find, can mean two things (one, the other, or perhaps both). The first is, sadly, that other people may just be trying to cut you off. This is especially the case if you aren't a particularly active listener; you might be, and hang around with good people, so this might not apply. The second is that you may not give an adequate enough indication that you have not yet finished what you are saying. If your voice is monotone, your body language is inexpressive in conversation, or there are many pauses in your speech, you may be misread in this fashion. There may be other contributing factors to the second possibility that I'm not thinking of, too.

Hmmm. It's just me I guess. Am I the only one who experiences this? Do aspies deal just fine with interruptions?

Its probably a diffrence in how an AS brain processes sound. Have you tried actually practising? Get a simple computer program that plays sounds randomly and a prepared speach and go for it.

i know exactley how you feel, i get hyper first then anxious and im like a squirrl after that nut, i need the heck out of there!

serenity now ala george castanza doesnt work btw so dont even try it.

It's the recipe for sensory overload..

methinks NTs generally drift in & out of conversation rather mindlessly, whereas aspie's, if they do communicate take things quite seriously.. for instance, presumably to the OP, your research is an important & interesting thing, as it should be, but to the average NT it's "just another topic" in their crazy social game.. bit of a generalisation but i think people can understand that.

I guess the issue shouldn't be framed as an NT vs. AS thing. It's more an introvert vs. extrovert thing but not all extroverts are poor listeners. It's a specific personality type.

It's a learnable skill. You focus on what's important. Ignore the rest.

Having AS, I find it takes a nice bit of concentration, which is why I don't like loud music when I'm out dining with someone and want to be able to talk to them.