Here's a definition of the word "clique":
"a group of people who are friendly with each other but exclude others"
Exclusion is not cool.
Looking back to my high school years, using my current understanding of the world, I can see now that the whole reason I never fit into any clique was because I didn't fit the criteria of typical members, that is, (A) I never had the sense that by demeaning and rejecting others I would feel superior, and, (B) I never had a need to feel superior. In my mind's eye, I can re-evaluate those "cool girls" and see now that they were pretty insecure and shallow and just not the kind of people I could ever be interested in as friends, even then. They were, for the most part, superficial in their relationships within their cliques, and all of them suffered from not knowing from one minute to the next if they would be "in" or "out", a reality I just couldn't bear to share with them. I spent my time focusing on my music, writing, art and figure skating and became rather accomplished at all of them, while, at school, I watched from the fringes with morbid curiosity, as those emotionally distraught popular girls struggled to maintain their tenuous positions within the cliques. It looked exhausting and ingenuine and the pay-off just didn't seem very appealing to me. I thank the younger version of me now, even if, back then, I thought there must be "something wrong with me" that I didn't "fit in". The teenager I was had good instincts by just staying away from all that and choosing to have only a few really close friends who didn't judge or tease or ostracize me. I'm actually Godmother to one of their children and we're still friends to this day!
I wonder where those tortured popular girls are now and what they're up to... I'm pretty sure that most went on to college, got married and had kids just like me. So, in the end, I didn't miss a thing by not "fitting in".