self-confidence

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Occasionally, if it's been a while since I've done anything social with people I haven't met before, I start overthinking things and getting worried about reactions. Then, I go to the party and I remember that even with AS, I am very good at small talk and breaking the ice.

Don't let your mind turn "I have AS" into "I have no social skills at all" or (if you really don't) "I can never learn them."

That's true, very true, completly true.
And you're totally right to remind it to those who could forget that.

Psyching your self up like that definately helps, but it doesn't last long when you don't recieve positive feedback. It just leads to having to tell yourself the interaction went a lot better than it did. Eventually you get the the point where you have to lose consideration for the emotions of yourself & others. Taking them seriously would overwhelm you & keep you from interacting. You become a robot.

It may doesn't last long but the time it does, it does and it can be fun or useful.

Any advice then? I'm off to a party tonight and I'll probably struggle with the small talk as usual.

It looks like you're out of college, so most of mine won't work. I have the basic "what year/major/sorority are you?" Questions and a little follow-up from that.

Sometimes you have to make your own conversation starter, though. For example, when my business law professor read off the roll, I recognized three names of girls in my sister's sorority. The next time I had that class, I wore a Zeta shirt I had from last year. One of the girls noticed and complimented it, and I said "thanks, do you know [sister's name]? I'm her brother." And that made an automatic good impression since my sister is one of the people that everyone really likes.

good to hear a voice of reason. i agree.

not that i'm good at small talk though, but it hasn't kept me from trying.
also, i may just be a lucky S.O.B but NT girls have shown interest in me. i've even got a cute FWB in the works as of recently.
so i have excellent reason to feel a boost in confidence. even if all the attention spooks me a little since i'm not used to it at all since it's only a recent thing. and the obscene surge of confidence felt almost as overwhelming as the stress. the only difference was i had a goofy smile plastered on my face this time. so i've been struggling to regulate myself and steer clear from the other extreme: cockiness & feeling full of myself.

but seeing life and people from this point of view now as well as my past depressed point of view has lent me new and life-changing insight. i feel as if before i was half a person, but now i have discovered the other half, and now i just have to deal with integration, overlaying the two to create a new whole.

Hm, I definitely have trouble letting my insecurities get the best of me. I'm entering another year of school, so maybe things will go better this time around. Can anyone think of any good motivators before going into a social event to build up self-confidence?