Anyone else really messed up over this topic?

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Warning: A bit of a rant here

I know my social habits flat out suck. I know my conversation skills are null. And I know these things drive people away. I don't have a problem with learning to read body language or learning to mimic it, to ease tensions, but sometimes I feel the degree people want me to change is giving myself up. I don't like how many people's reaction to how quiet I am feels almost like being punished for being shy, or that I should have to completely change my interests to more "normal" ones before I am acceptable. I see no reason why I shouldn't bend some to fit in, but most the time it feels like people want me to change completely otherwise I'm just not worth their time. And I keep bouncing back between wanting to go through with it because being alone all the time REALLY hurts, and desperately not wanting to lose myself because I like who I am. I don't talk most the time because I can't seem to stop myself from seeming all rude and blunt if I open my mouth.

Which side is right? Should I change or should I just get used to being alone?

I don't know. I feel like I'm broken or something and only everyone else can tell.

Welcome to the human race.

From what I observed, most NTs are that way to each other. If someone doesn't fit into the "box" they have created for social contact, they reject a person in favor of one who does fit in that "box."

For NTs, though, they have a better chance of finding like-minded people.

Thankfully, there are NTs who value deeper relationships and look deeper before writing someone off as "unfit" for social contact.

I honestly think people with AS can be just as bad in this regard. The difference is that constant rejection teaches us to be more accepting of other people's oddities if we ever want to have friends. Until 40, I didn't even know about AS, or that it fit everything odd about me. I presumed I was normal but couldn't find my place in life.

Everyone finds it easiest to make friends with someone just like them, but our richest relationships come from people who don't think or act like us.

I feel I might be posting on here a bit too much at the moment but this is one the main problems I'm dealing with just now. I've have changed things about myself in the past to fit in and it has worked up to a point. I've got to know people a lot better and built up some relationships but I started to feel a heavy sense of guilt like I wasn't being true to myself and was manipulating them somehow(I was diagnosed with AS at around the same time). I began acted more like myself because of this and it seemed to really upset them. Now I feel a bit lost between trying to change myself or learning to accept who I am.