Tory_canuck wrote:
inviting to your house??
slap a bunch of posters around a college saying PARTY at my place.....lots will come.

lol, I don't know about your college, but mine there wouldn't be a house left afterwards
I actually have a HUGE problem with this for two reasons. I never can tell the difference between someone just being polite, or someone who actually likes me as a friend. Even the people I know are okay with me as a friend I never can get this right with, or when to go visit them. It always feels all awkward unless there is a set reason for the visit (working on a project, a birthday party, helping out with something) and so people start to get the idea I only want to be around them when I want something. The reality is I really do want the company, stress out over whether I'm being rude or not by coming over or inviting over, and end up freaking myself out of doing it.
The second problem is if I do end up going through with it, I just flat out don't get what to do. Most friends that have come to visit, rarely do again or for very long because I just don't seem that entertaining. I don't do the whole conversation thing well (I always seem to come off disinterested or fake), don't have tv because it seems like such a waste of money that I could be wasting on books instead

, and not a lot of people I hang out with here are really into gaming (my friends back home are, but I think are mad because I can't afford the trip to see them and haven't been able to for a while).
Over the last year I have totally given up on this and it's eating at me. I don't really like the chit chat and socialization part of socializing, but it's lonely staying at home all the time. I think that if it weren't for my 2 year old and my grandmother I'd have lost it by now. I am getting to the point though that I'm almost scared to write or call someone, and I haven't visited anyone in ages and no one has come to visit me in even longer except for my grandma, but visits to her are easy. She needs help around the house with the more strenuous chores, doesn't like to drive much anymore, and wants someone to talk to since the rest of my family is too wrapped up in theirselves to pay much attention to her these days. So there's a purpose behind it and I don't get all confused or panicky about it. Besides, she doesn't do much small talk either.