Archbishop slams online friendships

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Social networking websites such as Facebook and MySpace encourage teenagers to build "transient relationships" that can leave them traumatised and even suicidal when they collapse, the head of the Roman Catholic Church in England and Wales has warned.

Archbishop of Westminster Vincent Nichols also expressed concern about the rise of individualism in society.

He described footballers who break their contracts to move to other clubs for bigger salaries as "mercenaries" and said moves to loosen laws on assisted suicide were particularly worrying.

His comments in The Sunday Telegraph follow the inquest into the death of 15-year-old Megan Gillan, a student at Macclesfield High School in Cheshire who took a fatal overdose of painkillers after being bullied on social networking site Bebo.

Archbishop Nichols said the sites encouraged young people to put too much emphasis on the number of friends they have rather than on the quality of their relationships.

"Among young people often a key factor in them committing suicide is the trauma of transient relationships," he said. "They throw themselves into a friendship or network of friendships, then it collapses and they're desolate."

He continued: "It's an all or nothing syndrome that you have to have in an attempt to shore up an identity - a collection of friends about whom you can talk and even boast. But friendship is not a commodity, friendship is something that is hard work and enduring when it's right."

Archbishop Nichols said the internet and mobile phones were "dehumanising" community life and that relationships had been weakened by the decline in face-to-face meetings.

"I think there's a worry that an excessive use or an almost exclusive use of text and emails means that as a society we're losing some of the ability to build interpersonal communication that's necessary for living together and building a community.

"We're losing social skills, the human interaction skills, how to read a person's mood, to read their body language, how to be patient until the moment is right to make or press a point. Too much exclusive use of electronic information dehumanises what is a very, very important part of community life and living together."

Archbishop Nichols hit it right on the money.

I personally know some people whose lives are totally consumed by MySpace and Facebook, and I would hear from them once a month, yet they were on the social networks at least once a day. Then, eventually, I never heard from them again.

This is unfortunate in several ways. I wonder if V. Nicholas has ever been on a social networking site, or what his adolescence consisted of. And he clearly has little knowledge of the psychology of suicide.

There are always trenchant Luddites in the older generation who decry the collapse of society in the hands of the young. I heard similar such battle cries from religious and political leaders in the 70s and 80s when I was growing up. My father told me he heard them in the 50s. I suspect there is graffiti in Latin on the bathhouse walls of Pompeii saying something similar.

The technologies may change, but the generation gap apparently always exists.

More important, no one has shown that using social networking sites causes suicide, a loss of social skills, or the other abilities Nicholas mentions. There is considerable evidence to the contrary.

And why didn't Nicholas ponder the obvious questions: how did Megan Gillan get a hold of enough painkillers to kill herself, and did her friends and family miss any signs of suicidal ideation?

I was expecting something like this. The Roman Catholic clergy hates anything new or modern. If they had it their way they'd still be taking scientists and inventors and burning them at the stake.

And before I get flamed, note that I say the CLERGY, not Catholicism as a whole. I knew a few Catholics at school and they weren't as stuffy and close minded as their leadership leads us to believe.

I think what he said is complete and utter BS.

If cyber-communication is "dehumanizing" because we don't have body language and interpersonal timing, etc. to look at, then all people with Asperger's are dehumanized, since we have trouble interpreting these things. I am human and I have Asperger's. Therefore, he is wrong.

Also, bullying and problems can happen on or off-line. I don't believe it happens more on-line and I think there are probably a lot more teens committing suicide because of in-person bullying.

I'm sure I could find just as many - probably more - case studies of people who have committed suicide due to religious influences. What exactly is he trying to prove?

I agree with myspace and facebook. Online friends outside of these types of sites, however, are good.

Another "pronouncement" by an archbishop who knows nothing about modern society or humans, it would seem. Who listens to this cr*p? People have always been devastated bv bullying, whether in person, on-line, on the telehone or by mail. I consider the friendship I find online to be real and a thing of great value. My aspie son, who was bullied in person nearly everyday this past school year, has some online friends who raise his spirits after a depressing day. Duh.

Maybe he's just got friend-envy... the pope might have more facebook friends than him.

Without the internet, I wouldn't have met anyone else with Aspergers Syndrome.