For those with few or no friends

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Hi. After analyzing my current situation and past history, I'm thinking I should hermit up a bit; for how long undecided, but maybe until I get my Bachelor's. I get blown off too much. I'm taking online classes and expect to graduate within a half year. I'm not too interested in the jobs available to me considering my poor job history and the economy, so I don't think it's worth it to do an unpleasant job just to socialize more.

The purpose of this thread and poll is to find out how prudent of a long term strategy being anti-social is for those on the autism spectrum. Additionally, for those who are happy where they are, it'd be great if you could talk about how you are so.

I'll emphasize that if you're NT, please don't vote in the poll. Posting's fine. Thanks to all who reply.

My issue is:

Because I'm a Christian and vote Republican, many people who have the same interests and beliefs as me (who often fit into the artsy hipster clique) avoid me because of my religion and political beliefs. Yet fellow Christians avoid me because of my interests (Simpsons, South Park, indie/foreign films).

And there are virtually no Christians who vote Republican (or who are at least libertarian) who like the things I like. There was one who fit both characteristics, who I had as a friend, but she doesn't want to be my friend anymore for whatever reason.

So I am having to choose between giving up my interests, or renouncing Christianity and becoming liberal.

Right now for me the lonelier the better. There are a few friends tough who I wouldn't want to lose, but my will to make a socializing effort is weaker and weaker.

My understanding of AS is that most of us want friends but have trouble making them. I do want more friends, definitely. I need people to do things with. I stay bored and under-stimulated a lot lately for lack of social interaction.

I like being alone better then being with people I don't trust people at all.

i voted for somewhat unhappy.

I'm happy and unhappy at the same time. I have a healthy drive for getting out there & trying new things. Keeps me busy & around people. I can't seem to form many close relationships though. My interactions remain activity-based only, & I feel a void during stretches of downtime.

Somewhat happy. I have been very reclusive for the past 5 years. They have been among my happiest years and I've developed a great deal. However, since I've not experienced a true friendship, it's a bit like asking someone who was born without something what it feels like to be missing it, but I know I do not miss the more casual relationships I did have. Love is something I've only very recently grasped the idea of and may need to find in future.

I spend a good amount of time obsessing over how long it is until I can be around other people again (right now, it is 27 hours until my depression support group starts, which is the next time I am likely to have any opportunity to be around other people). My body is just screaming at me to be around other people more, but I'm also depressed to the point where making any new contacts is extremely difficult, since it's hard to think well enough to carry a conversation most days, and most of the time I don't feel well enough to get out of the apartment.


Health-related lack of mobility + social anxiety + extreme loneliness issues is a terrible combination.

I also get a TON of suicidal thoughts whenever I don't sleep well. On days like that, it takes all I've got to just fight it.

I've always had few or no friends all my life. It never really bothered me when I was younger but more as I got older. I'm 26 now, and just in the past couple months it has hit me really hard and right now I'm trying to fight off the worst case of depression I've ever had. I do have one friend, my cousin, but she live a couple of states away and it isn't fair for me to always need to lay my problems on her, especially since she's done so much already. So right now it's just keeping going day to day, hour to hour, or minute to minute.

I don't really care, tbh. I used to care a lot more, but now I can't really handle having a lot of friends. I used to be in a group of 10 or so people, and I ended up severely deducting the amount of time I spent with them.
EMZ=]

Quite unhappy, at the moment. There have been times (in my 20's) when I had so many friends I could hardly get any time to myself. Over time they drifted away. Now I have 2 or 3 friends I have the proverbial 'quiet drink' with occasionally and that's about it.

Not that I want to be dismissive of these friends that I do have, it is a lot better than having no one at all. The problem is trying to find the balance that is right for me, the balance between quantity and quality of social interaction. At the moment I know it is far too low. Sometimes I need someone to help out with something, like at the moment someone has a washing machine they'll let me have provided I can transport it, yet I have no one I can ask to help me lift it, so I'll end up buying one and paying to get it delivered.

Not a huge deal, thought. Worse is not being able to get much (or any) support for the emotional crises that life throws at you. For example, going through a divorce is bad enough for anybody. Having to do it by myself made it much harder. Even small things can become big problems when you have nobody to put another perspective on.

I'm very open to making new friends, however it seems much harder to make new friends as you get older. Speaking as someone mid-40's, I do regularly meet people of my age, but they all appear so settled in their own cliques, they have no space for anyone else. There's just not enough misfits to collaborate with!

hmm. it's a mixture. i feel terrible that i drive people away. sometimes it is kind of lonely. but at the same time, i seem to be happiest when i'm just focusing on whatever interest has got my attention. it's harder to do that when you're being social. i do seem to feel happiest in solitude overall.

It's not so much that I feel I really need company for company's sake as much as I don't like doing activities by myself. I get bored to tears at home by myself but because I can't think of anything to do by myself away from my home, I typically don't leave which just prolongs the boredom. I can sit home and watch DVDs, but I'd like to be able to go to a friend's house even to watch the same DVD just for a change of scenery and variety. But alas