Telling people they're your friend

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I don't know if my peers told me this or if I just came to the conclusion on my own, but I've always considered it to be an insult to tell someone that I think of them as a friend. Just me in particular, not as a general rule. So up until college I would never admit to someone that they were my friend for fear of offending them. I guess I thought that I was such an undesirable person, for me to consider someone a friend would mean a failing on their part. It still makes me uncomfortable to acknowledge friendship.

Does anyone else this like this?

Compelling question - I'm not sure! Mostly I like those whom I'm around often enough. I think you're right in that to say, "I like you" would be misconstrued plus that this should be implicit in that your friendship is known by your spending time with them and having commonalities. Lab Pet does forget some I like might not like me back and that's a harsh reality.

There is some unspoken social taboo to say the status of 'like' or 'dislike' that one must abide by...or else. But then I cannot ever know if someone likes me, or not.

I was thinking about that recently, actually. I have a hard time telling to what degree people like me (am I a casual acquaintance, friend, random girl in class, etc.) except for my closest friends, the people who know me and who I have actually had discussions with about friendship. According to my boyfriend, most people just "know" who are their friends, and they never talk about it, which I find strange (though I think this is more of a guy thing too). People never seem to address stuff like that.

I sometimes have the impulse to ask people if they are my friends, or tell them that they are mine, but I too don't think it would be taken the "right" way, even though it's an innocent question, so I usually don't. To my thinking, it's not a "weird" statement at all. It's usually a relief if they say something about it, because if they hadn't told me, I wouldn't know the answer. I don't think most people would be offended by that kind of statement though. If they were, they probably wouldn't make too good of a friend anyway.

I never tell people they're my friend. I am also resistant to giving compliments or responding to them. I'm also resistant to asking for things. I'm always thinking, what are the secondary meanings? Are they being sarcastic? How do I justify my requests? This always confuses me and I often can't respond on an appropriate timescale. If I show too much affection too soon for any purpose, it's like I'm needy or placing myself on a subordinate level or showing that I'm not dealing from a position of strength.

I have the exact same problem. Usually, it doesn't bother me, because I'm a very shy person and I don't socialise that much. But when I think about who I like and who I'm enemies with, then it gets all confusing.

What you wrote, I think in exact same way. As far as I'm concerned, I completely suck, so I would never call someone my friend because I'd be afraid they wouldn't want to be associated with a undesirable, socially screwed up fool like me self. That's why I never call anyone my friend. Heck, I still don't know if I have any friends or not. A few people have called me their friend before but it's not like I hang out with them so I'm in complete confusion all the time.

It all depends on what you define as friendships.

For me there are all different sorts such as companinions, fair-weathered friends, close friends, distant friends, and so on.

Not all friends are defined as those to whom I feel inifintely close to but rather people I feel comfortable enough to talk to.

I don't know, maybe I need to start making a list of "friends" and seperate them accordingly. But I can relate to many of you guys' case. I'm not very popular among the friendships that include confidentiality and the kind of connection I crave.

Lab Pet cannot understand the quality/quantity that is love. Lab Pet can & does love, but what happens when that's not reciprocated?

Or, Lab Pet - love >> X = other

<insert emoticon here that means to cry; cannot even know what any given emoticon means except they're yellow>

It is this way (crying hard now) & tonight. My friend, whom Lab Pet LOVES, (loves X 10 ^ (1/0)) 'forgot' to visit with me during when he said he'd visit.....I waited and waited. Then, on Wednesday he did have a headcold (not too serious, feeling fine now) - Lab Pet made him homemade chicken soup with spinach noodles. Then, I did not know what to do with the soup I made for him so I threw it away.

Ok, in process of recovering from meltdown.....why can he not explain love? For me, love is unconditional; a constant. For any given Neurotypical Unit X, love is some ephemeral thing that means 'when it is convenient' for them.

Then, am I allowed to ask if he's my friend? The answer is 'yes' but their words are hollow. My love is likely endless but so are my tears. Even if one should ask if the other loves/likes, then the answer is void. So why ask?

Mental Scream. Why is there no meltdown emoticon???

This one is sad. For exercise, try moving the cursor over each one, because each says what it is. I've misused the "embarrassed" one for situations suggesting nausea, I suppose they're similar. Some are ambiguous, like the rolling eyes and the razz. Yes, they do need a meltdown one.