What do you look for in a friend?

Post Reply New Topic

Everyone has things they look for in a friend. Not everyone can pinpoint the things they are looking for. There are three questions I ask myself about somebody, a three pronged test that never fails. Or at least, it's never failed me before, and I've been using it for a while. The first question I ask is "How sensitive is this person?" I can't stand sensitive people. What I mean by that is, if I can't curse, or tell gross jokes, or just generally BE MYSELF around that person because they are too sensitive to handle me, then I probably wouldn't like that person. There is a joke I tell, to kind of prove my point. Why do you f**k a sheep at the edge of a cliff? Answer: So the sheep will push back. If you weren't grossly offended, or if you laughed, then you probably aren't overly sensitive, just to give you an idea of what I mean. The second question is: Can I have an intellectual conversation with this person? All I mean by that is, can we have a discussion, instead of a debate or an argument. The difference is that a discussion does not operate under the premise that someone is right and someone is wrong. Usually, those two are sufficient, and all my friends pass the test. The third part is kind of weird, and obviously isn't a good idea to try out. I ask myself the following question: If I walked up to this person and told them that I think he/she is an a**hole and they suck, how would they react? If that person would probably react in a violent manner, either physical violence and/or getting all up in my face, then he/she is probably not the kind of person I would like. If he/she would just say "Eh, whatever, and ignore me, then that's my kind of person, someone who isn't wound too tight or have their panties all in a wad.

So what do you all look for in a friend? And do you have a test you use?

ooh..good one...um...someone non-pretentious or competitive ...who understands me and my various hangups...Someone who likes to work on creative projects...

Good question.

Intelligence is key for me. I guess a certain amount of seperation from the crowd, since that's where I usually end up myself. Similar interests are nice, though not compulsory. The ability to have a conversation without it getting emotional. It always annoys me when I discuss things with someone, and they take an emotional perspective. If you've got emotional roots in an issue then there's a certain leeway, but I still find it ruins a conversation where I'm more interested in theory. I tend to find that if someone can best/equal me in a debate then I respect them on a more equal level than those who can't. I've become less confrontational & adamant on that point since my teens, though. Now I can generally keep 'nice people with good advice' as friends, if more distant ones.

Anyone I can talk to for hours and be comfortable around them. They can be tricky to find but once I do I stick with them.
Also they have to have a sense of humour, I don't like people that are too serious.

You know Whisper, we would probably get along pretty well. I used to be more confrontational as well, but I'm much better at communication now. We seem to look for the same things in a person. We should be super-special-awesome friends. If you get the reference, you are uber-cool.

Someone who is honest, non-judgmental, and kind. Someone I can confide in, and someone who can provide emotional support when I'm feeling down.

Either
1. Someone I can be myself around.
2. Someone who can tolerate me and I can tolerate them.
3. Someone who is nice or funny or shares my interests.

The people who are all three are usually the ones who ares my best friends.
And I agree about the sensitive thing with the OP. I hate when they get offended by something I say, like what u said, swearing, and stuff.

Someone who

- shares at least 1 common interest with me
- is honest, straightforward and doesn't manipulate or play games with me
- is tolerant of my differences
- doesn't cling to me, and can go without talking to me for days

Common interests, sense of humor, likes to have fun, and is intelligent. The group of people I hang out with most fit 3 of the 4, but my 2 best friends get the perfect 4/4, though they're part of the group

i'll actually have an answer to this post later, for now i just wanted to add this for the OP because i love his username and its namesake

Haha I'm not a trekkie. That's just a nickname my friends gave me. Because they tell me I'm always kirking out.

Hm.. this is a hard question.
For me its important that my friend/s are comfortable with how I am. That I might start talking about my interest a tad too long and much sometimes. (So ofc it helps if the person also shares my interest. )
I hate when they say one thing but mean another, so that is important they dont do.
Lying is just a big no.

As it is right now, I have 1 friend. With wich I can talk about everything with, and that I feel understand and like me anyway, whatever I do. Wich makes me relax alot.

I like people who are honest and are not two-faced. I also feel happier around people who take the time to get to know me (without being too personal, of course) rather than judging me and making fun of me for talking too quietly.

I agree with the need for being comfortable around a friend. I was hanging out with my best friend over the holiday, playing old Mega Man games and noshing on burgers. There was no real structure to what we were doing; we were just hanging out.

Only really good and/or really old friends give you that kind of comfort, where socializing comes naturally and isn't a calculated action.

Just people who are kind, loyal, and fun to be around.

(This is not to be confused with the stuff I look for in a romantic partner, of which the list is more stringent)