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autisticstar
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23 Oct 2009, 10:36 am

I have recently come to the realization that there has been a lack of reciprocation in certain friendships I have. There is another woman I met through another friend of mine and she recently called me up and we had a nice conversation. I had other plans that particular weekend but I still would like to get together with her. So I think I will call her up and suggest that we do something together. I should have gotten back to her sooner but better late than never.

I am on a fixed income and don't have lot of money to host large social gatherings nor do I have the space to host them. How can I reciprocate without it being a case of me "buying" friends? I have some friends who are in the same situation that I'm in in terms of not being typical neurologically. Yet it always seems like there is an awkwardness between myself and people who are "normal". I don't mean that to bash NT's in any way. There is the further complication of not being able to drive. This makes it difficult to initiate things socially without it seeming like I just want a ride. There is public transportation but it's not the norm to use public transportation for social events and it is limited during evenings and weekends. Has anyone found out ways to make a friendship more of a give and take instead of either being the person doing all of the giving or being the person doing all of the taking?



Tim_Tex
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23 Oct 2009, 10:38 am

I try to reason with them as much as I can, but they still insist on doing all the taking.


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FaithHopeCheese
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23 Oct 2009, 3:38 pm

Since you don't have your own transportation, you could always offer gas money, which wouldn't come off as "buying" your friends. I have problems, sometimes, with being too accommodating at the beginning, and resenting it later, so I think you have to establish how much you are willing to give, up front. Just try to be honest and up front on a case by case basis. If your new friend called you, then she is initiating a friendship with you. You could just call her up and talk for a little bit, and ask what she's doing that weekend. If she has plans, ask if you can join her and pitch in for the gas. If she rejects the idea of you going along with her, then wait for her to invite you somewhere the next time....


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