Creepiness (and roommates)

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It's been pointed out that a lot of qualities of aspiness come off as "creepy." So how do you deal with that? And in the face of that fact, how do you deal with it when you get the creeps from somebody else?

It looks like we're going to get new roommates. The current roommate, who is moving out, recommended the guy. He'd never met the girl before the time that they came over to see the place. Apparently he's known the guy for awhile, he says that "he's a good kid." Well, when they came over, they both gave me the screaming willies. While the guy has a job and therefor would at least be out a lot, the current roommate said that the girl "will be looking for a part-time job." She also doesn't have a car. This means that I will have to spend all day, every day, in the house with this chick. I do have a car, but I hate driving, and I'm generally kinda hermit-ish. I use my car to go to my psychiatrist once a month, to CVS, or out to the convenience store for milk, stuff like that. Now, I don't want to hold it against somebody that the seem creepy when I may very well come off as creepy to a lot of people.. but I was on edge the entire time they came to see the place, and for quite awhile afterward. I don't want to be judgmental or anything, and we really need to rent out a room.. but it's not like renting out an apartment where you don't' have to actually have much to do with the person. I have to live with them. And when one of those people doesn't have a job or a car.. and I'm on disability, because I can't handle people... This is shaping up to be a really really bad situation and it's not even here yet. Oh, they're also like 20. So even if they are "good kids" this means I have to deal with the drama of 20-year-olds. I know I'm not that much older than that myself, but Kris is quite a bit older than I am, and I'm only just kinda starting to get on a more even keel, a little bit more adult and able to at least handle household things, which I was never able to do in the past.. having to spend all my days with a 20-year-old girl is really NOT seeming like a good idea, even if she's a perfectly decent and friendly person. But I'm already uncomfortable with her. When they were here, they were like standing in a huddle whispering among themselves, outside, at night. (WTF?) Ok, so maybe they're shy, but seriously... it was that awkward for that short period of time they were here.

Maybe I'll go jump off a bridge, then I won't have to deal with this.
(edit: don't take that bridge thing too seriously.. it's just an idle thought, I'm feeling quite frustrated.)

Last edited by Maggiedoll on 04 Nov 2009, 11:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

There have been situations in my life where my gut told me No No and I didn't listen only to regret it later. It's hard to say if there's nothing to worry about or whether you're picking up on something subconsciously. I'm not sure I could tolerate any kind of roommate now, except for my son. Do you need someone right away to help with expenses? Can you say you want to interview some more people?

Well we'd really prefer to rent to somebody military anyways, because then we can be sure that they actually will pay rent, they'll work so even if we don't get along wonderfully, at least they won't be here constantly, and it'd be finite how long they'd be here to begin with. I guess it does result in the same issue of somebody new fairly often, but it's also less risk and less to deal with. We really are asking the lowest rent anywhere in the area (besides on-base, I guess.. I don't know exactly how that works..) so it probably won't be too hard to find somebody. Renting a trailer is almost twice as expensive as how much we're renting the room for. There are always people needing to move into the area on short notice, because we're just outside the gates of a large Navy base.

The biggest thing that's bothering me about it is that I feel like I'm being judgmental, or that I'm making a judgment on them that could easily be made on me as well. I'm almost completely sure it's a bad idea. I was so nervous while they were here, and that was for less than half an hour, and I have more than enough anxiety issues as it is! And with somebody who isn't military, it's harder to be sure that they won't just decide they don't feel like paying rent, and the whole process of evicting somebody is difficult to begin with, and when you have to LIVE WITH those people for it, it'd be hell. Not to mention that since the girl doesn't have a job or a car, if we didn't get along perfectly.. it'd be AWFUL. Someone who is home in the evenings and and while they're sleeping is one thing, then the interaction is minimal and I can win them over by feeding them cake. Somebody who is here all the time, and who I have to be alone with, is completely different. It's a level of interaction I just can't handle, unless perhaps the person is as weird as me and doesn't spend much time on planet Earth anyway. We had a couple here for awhile, and that girl was home all the time, but they were both gamers, so they were never really in this world at all. Even that was pushing it, though, I spent so much time feeling very awkward.

I just remember a situation that I couldn't think of a rational reason to say no to and probably looking back couldn't say what it was that set off my creepy meter, but it let to a shutdown and a civil court case. If you can think of any rational reason to say you want to look some more I would.

Desperately trying to find one. Current roommate who is leaving said he knows the guy's family and that they're good.. and mentioned something about the families not approving of the relationship. So the best case scenario is loads and loads of drama. And he doesn't know anything at all about the girl, and had never met her before.. and she would be at home all the time. "Looking for a part-time job" doesn't mean finding one, especially now, the unemployment rate is like 10%, isn't it?
I feel so guilty, though, like I'm judging people I don't even know. But then once they're here, the process of getting them out would take at least a month, so if they turned out to be horrible, and then were were in the process of getting them out, they would be even worse though all that time, because they'd know they were leaving anyway.
But Kris doesn't know how to say no either. It's like we're gonna be stuck with it just because neither of us knows how to diplomatically refuse.