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Spazzergasm
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05 Nov 2009, 10:04 pm

Okay, so I have this friend, she's been my friend for multiple years now. We used to go to middle school together.
Anyways, she recently has been calling WAY too much. I mean, she might call 5 times a day! And she has nothing to talk about. I'm serious. She just repeats the same comment, either about some hot guy, being bored, or some stupid situation from her new school. If I say something, she usually ignores it. She just wants to talk at me....About stupid stuff.

I know I sound mean, but she really is dumber than the average dumb girl, even. She's okay to hang around in person, but phone conversations and msn, no.
I feel bad. Because we used to be really good friends, but I think I've matured faster than she, or gotten tired of her. I want to be sympathetic when she tells me problems....Like, she is at a new school, so it's stressful for her, and she gets her "heart broken" sooo often (italics bit said in a sarcastic tone), but I just can't. As cruel as I sound, I have virtually no sympathy/empathy for her.

Basically, I feel like she's too clingy. She wants me to listen to her, and support her for nothing in return. And she calls too much. And when I ignore her calls, if I finally pick up because I feel bad, she's like "why don't you ever pick upppppp....?" So I have to lie. And I have to lie to get off the phone too, because she NEVER shuts up. Sometimes I even have to ARGUE with her to let me hang up.

What do I do?



omfgz
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05 Nov 2009, 11:50 pm

lucky



Who_Am_I
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06 Nov 2009, 6:26 am

Turn your phone off, and keep it off. If she won't let you hang up, just hang up.
Also, tell her that you feel that you're offering a lot of support and that she's just using you and not giving anything in return.


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Lene
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06 Nov 2009, 9:46 am

She sounds like she's in trouble of some kind.

If the clinginess is only recent and she's reaching out to you (she must know by now that you like your space), then perhaps she exhausted all her other friends or going through a patch of depression.

If she's an old friend, then don't dump her; it may teach her not to take your for granted, but you will also have ditched her at the time when she most needed you.

You say that she rings you 5 times a day to talk about nothing. I went through a phase like that when I broke up with my first bf (my poor mum was in your place); it was due to insecurity. I would keep ringing to make sure someone was there for me and would listen.

Do you ever ring her? I think she may cut down on the desperate phone calls if she were to know that you would ring her up regularily and ask how she was.

I think she just wants to feel that somebody's there for her at the moment; once her self-esteem is back up to normal, she'll leave you alone a bit more. Do you have any mutual friends that you could talk to about this?



Spazzergasm
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06 Nov 2009, 1:15 pm

ugh...i guess i should try calling her sometimes, then...it's SO annoying. :(.
and not lucky. she's annoying!