Was I rude?

Post Reply New Topic

This afternoon, I was on a mobility bus and was riding with another gentleman whom was in a wheel chair. We didn't talk to each other during the whole time that the vehicle was moving. When it came to dropping him off at his school, he asked me what my name was. I told him that since I didn't know him, personal information was not shared. I then politely asked him what his major was, and he gave me the same answer that I gave him when he asked me my name.

I know he was telling me that everything was a two way street but I felt like that question about his major wasn't really personal.

Do you think I was rude in telling him that I don't give out information upon them asking me my name, even though we didn't strike up a conversation?

i can see where you're coming from - i constantly worry about giving personal info away to anyone & everyone... however, i think asking for a first name or nickname is relatively harmless. hes probably just trying to be friendly (probably!). if you gave him your name and he asked for your surname, then that would probably be TMI.

I see one's major as personal information, just like their name. You didn't answer his question about yourself and then you ask him one about him. I don't see how that's fair.

You weren't rude per se; you turned him down politely, but you probably came across as quite unfriendly.

When I'm asked my name by strangers, I usually give them a slightly different pronounciation that I would to friends. It makes me feel more comfortable that they don't know my 'real' name. Perhaps you could do something similar?

Although it sounds like you didn't mean to be rude I think it would come across as such otherwise he wouldn't have answered back like that.

Sounds like it was definitely experienced as rude, regardless of your intent. I think what piece of information is "private" is a judgment call, but a good rule of thumb is that if you are going to refuse to answer a polite question, don't ask a polite question of the other person immediately after.

A lot of elderly people such as him and have a physical handicap that I have met are usually neglected by their family, and have no one. I've seen it a lot, people I know.

It's your decision, but I would have given my first name. I'm also not sure he would have the modern-smarts to use your identity, he's probably from an era where this wasn't as common. Make friends with him or someone else next time something like this happens.

A man that my mother takes care of, his son rarely comes down from Cali to see his father, and when he does he just sits their on his laptop doing business, doesn't visit with him at all. Only just comes down to make himself look good.
A suspected-Aspie I know at work, although not elderly but just over 30, still lives with parents but his parents would only come down to see him when he was in a stroke-induced coma when the doctors had something to say. They were gonna pull the plug on the day his girlfriend was finally allowed to see him, and he woke up while she was speaking to him.