I need some advice... and maybe some slaps in the face

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alblurt_06
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13 Mar 2006, 8:27 pm

This entire topic is going to be based on my emotional feelings, so if you want to go ahead and flame me with how bad I am, I could probably take it because it's something that I really need.

I have this friend, her name is "Connie". We've been friends for the last three years and within the last few weeks, conversation has been really dry. Even worse, she's getting a bit annoyed at me too for my talking in Economics, which I do a little bit too much of. Basically, "all the little things are starting to add up" and I have to start the conversation. This begs the following questions...

1) What is wrong with me? (I have a tad bit of AS)

2) What do I do to remedy the situation?

3) Am I doing something wrong socially, or is she?

4) Is this my low-confidence somehow getting back at me?

Thanks for your help.



k96822
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13 Mar 2006, 11:37 pm

I'm sure we can all relate to this one! I learned the secret from a book "How to Win Friends and Influence People". One of the main rules was that people like to talk about themselves. Some will actually tune out anything but conversation about themselves. I have one friend who will literally just wait for me to stop talking so she can continue. It's very common (and in her case, so severe, it's kind-of funny).

Maybe she really wants to talk about herself, or wants to talk about something with you specific -- like going to the next level in the relationship or something? Women are hard to read, aren't they? I can really relate. Being an aspie, I don't have a solution; I can just relate to the problem :-) I've had way too many women get very angry at me for not getting their signals. Is she sending signals?

I wonder how she would respond to, "You seem really quiet lately. Is something bothering you?" If she pours out her heart for hours, you'll be closer than ever. This is something I've had to learn from that book, but it seems to work well.

I definitely don't think there is anything wrong with you!! !



Miss_Bluesky
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14 Mar 2006, 8:42 am

Just ask her how she is. As a girl, I can tell you that question may entail a reply that lasts for hours.
:D



TigerFire
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14 Mar 2006, 9:26 am

alblurt_06 wrote:
This entire topic is going to be based on my emotional feelings, so if you want to go ahead and flame me with how bad I am, I could probably take it because it's something that I really need.

I have this friend, her name is "Connie". We've been friends for the last three years and within the last few weeks, conversation has been really dry. Even worse, she's getting a bit annoyed at me too for my talking in Economics, which I do a little bit too much of. Basically, "all the little things are starting to add up" and I have to start the conversation. This begs the following questions...

1) What is wrong with me? (I have a tad bit of AS)

2) What do I do to remedy the situation?

3) Am I doing something wrong socially, or is she?

4) Is this my low-confidence somehow getting back at me?

Thanks for your help.


I don't think any slaps on the face will help you at all. I think the rest of us has already completly answered your questions but I just wanted to let you know that things aren't as worse as they seem after the fact. I hope you and your friend are doing well. If you don't mind what do you mean by low-confidence? You mean about your self or your friend?


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larsenjw92286
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14 Mar 2006, 4:07 pm

I think you should just be honest with her.

Why do you think you need slaps in the face? That's not nice!


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alblurt_06
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15 Mar 2006, 11:54 pm

Yeah, I can definitely relate with all Aspies out there. Women are complicated. My goodness my head goes around in cirlces.

I think she's mad because she never gets to hear me begin conversations. I don't know, does that make sense?

I've concluded that I'm just not myself around her. Big mistake eh?

Thanks everyone for reading.