social anxiety

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Does anyone here have social anxiety? Because I think it's difficult to talk about it with people, I think it is easier for me to write about it. I just wanted to let other people that have it know that they are not alone, and there are quite a few people that feel the same way they do. I wrote a blog on wordpress.com about my experiences with it.


http://dwarren57.wordpress.com/2009/10/ ... l-anxiety/

I feel pretty certain that Social Anxiety is probably the most common comorbid associated with Asperger Syndrome, along with chronic depression. You'd probably be hard pressed to find an Aspie who doesn't suffer from it. Frequently.

I most certainly do... it's one of the main issues I have to grapple with on a daily basis.

I think it would be great to find a network of people to discuss it with, like, oh hey, RIGHT HERE.

Excitement if you want to read my blog I have loads of entries on it... pinkbowtiepumps.blogspot.com

Yes I have social phobia and anxiety disorder. I just recieved a gift for my birthday, a ticket to an AC/DC concert. I will be petrified if I go there. It will be too loud and there will be to many people jumping and crushing each other But if I don't go I will upset my good friend, so I guess I'll just have to get ear plugs and cope with the crowds.

Generally, social anxiety can be tackled by a mixture of reality-based treatments, This is different from conventional psychotherapy. You have a book and you write down your reactions to different things, and you give yourself little assignments, generally to gradually expose yourself to situations which cause anxiety. It works, since it helps you to gain practise in social situations.
There is no need to hide all AS personality and make yourself 100% average. AS people tend to be driven and goal-oriented and inner-directed than NT people, so they get so wrapped up in what they are doing that they interrupt people or bore them, or otherwise cause problems.
On the flip side, AS people tend to be more creative and have intense interests. A lot of NT people have few strongly held opinions, and few passionate interests.

I too suffer from an extremely violent social anxiety, and i live in a big city, which certainly makes it worse. whenever i can, i´m going to leave this place, for I don´t think social anxiety is the kind of thing we can "fix", i mean, everyone has pretty good reasons to have social anxiety nowadays but they don´t have it because they´re simply not too honest with themselves and with the world. we are, and it is not our choice to be so honest. we just are.

One example is to write down any excessively negative thoughts and analyze all of the logic errors contained within- such as magnification, all-or-nothing-thinking etc.
The second example is to progress through a hierarchy of situations that may promote social anxiety. For example, as an early, simple exercise, you would start with being around people in a public place like the mall, and just concentrate on enjoying yourself. Then you would do things like speaking up more in a class, voicing your opinion more when you are in a group of people etc.
I disagree with the current scientific thinking about what AS entails. Current research focuses on how aspies fail to discern subtle social cues like facial expressions etc. I instead focus on how we aspies differ in our way of thinking and motivation from NT. AS people are more driven and goal oriented and inner-directed in their thinking. That is why they interrupt a lot, and bore people, since they fail to notice that people are not listening to them. A lot of NT people make a lot of awkward moves in relating to people, so aspies don't have a monopoly on nerdiness. Rather aspie people have different motivations than NT people.
Compared to aspies, a lot of the way NT people relate to each other involves a lot of social rituals to just reassure each other, and provide a sense of bonding and belonging. There is a lot of coversation which is just passing the time, and a lot of just hanging out with no clear goal. There is a lot of ambiguity. Also, there is often a lot of casual touching of the backslapping variety, something many aspies detest.I have my foot in both worlds, so I see both sides.

I think that's very good advice, RossMc.
I am very socially anxious, and I have been trying to combat it recently using the methods you suggest. I have so far made progress: in my university, there is an evening meal for some students, to which I have recently become entitled. Previously the thought of eating in public made me nauseous, but at the start of the year I just went. The first few times were rough - i didn't eat much lest I puked, but I'm now four weeks in and have no anxiety about it. So that's kind of a success story.
The thing about all-or-nothing-thinking is very relevant too. I would recommend people to write a diary or indeed a blog. I've been doing so for a couple of months and find it very cathartic, and liable to cause more logical evaluations of one's thoughts with regard to social situations.

I have social anxiety to the extreme it seems. I have general anxiety too, I worry about everything

I have pretty bad social anxiety. I live in a smallish town but have to go into the city for university, and find it hard to deal with the crowds and people. I try just to get from point A to B as fast as possible and with as little interaction with other people as is possible.

This is one of my biggest problems, together with the constant depression I've lived with for over a decade. I've recently moved to an apartment that I need to share with two other people. After school I feel I need privacy, and so I tend to stay alone in my room with the door shut. The other two have asked whether I ever "go out" (whatever that is supposed to mean), and have started to exhibit awkwardness around me (at least I think that is what it is, in any case their tone is no longer positive). This in turn has led to me staying away from them even more (I am afraid to meet them, since I don't know what to say or do to seem "normal"). I can't even go to the kitchen any more when I hear that they are at home (if I feel hungry I just go buy a salad or something). This in turn contributes to my depression.

At times when I'm walking to college, when I get there and theres loads of people around I seem to get a bit nervous for no reason and also paranoid.

Difficulty not being able to read the environment gives me anxiety.

I’m not scared of people or situations and if I “just don’t care” and do whatever it is I’m there for it’s for the most part ok.

The nagging part in the back of my brain knows that when I interact with a random person there is no telling what will happen. The only guarantee is it will in some way be odd.

Interacting with people is something that is natural. If I let my guard down it will happen. This experience ranges from typical oddness which doesn’t really concern me or complete disaster which seems as if I betray myself and the people I may be with, an awful feeling. It’s not being able to control which of these occurs that gives me anxiety.

Questions that pass through my mind are:

Is this person using me? Are they just trying to extract information on me to use against me later? Are they being genuine or are they just paying lip-service? What if I’m too honest, will something slip that shouldn’t?

It’s not me that bothers me but others reactions to each other. For the most part I’ve always been comfortable with whom I was but this seemed to upset those around me. When I tried to not upset those around me that’s when all the trouble with social anxiety started.

Sometimes it feels that working to make the world a more open and honest place is an unintentional and collective goal of Aspie life.

I recently found information about a book written by a man with social anxiety. It is written by Jamie Blyth and Jennifer Glatzer. It is about how he became anxious, how the disorder affected him and how he overcame it. It's title is "Fear is No Longer My Reality".