social no-man's land.. or walking the plank

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I want to try and describe what social interactions are like for me and see if anyone can relate. I start off in my shell, keeping to myself, then see somebody I want to talk to or hear a conversation that I want to join.

Then if I take the plunge by reaching out and talking it's like a leap into the unknown. After I've started a conversation, I feel disoriented, like I have no stability, no foundation. It feels like I'm walking the plank- suspended, shaky, nerve wracking. Half the time I say something stupid or awkward then, angry at myself I retreat back into my shell.

Maybe a better analogy is tight rope walking. At least with a tight rope there is some hope of getting across and back. Seems more accurate because sometimes social exchanges end up just fine.

if you can relate to this, what does it feel like in your situation? Would you describe it differently?

Thanks,
Carl

"Striking up conversations with strangers is an autistic person's version of extreme sports." Kamran Nazeer

I can relate. I can honestly relate. I am the "upside down under water" style social character. To swim underwater upside down, I blow air out of my nose and it keeps water from coming in. In social situations, I am forever talking, entertaining, and mostly dominating the conversation. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I have learned to modify my motor mouth now that I know I am autistic. Before I knew, I would be quite rude if people objected. Now I am far more understanding of myself and others. Thank Gawd.

Merle

Yeah, I'm sometimes like that. I pay close attention to what the other person's saying, and just nod and give my opinion, or try to make a light joke or something. I spend more time letting the other guy talk, because I can't think of what to say. I'm not sure exactly if we're experiencing the same thing, but I remember at a party awhile back I suddenly became aware I was standing and talking to a small group of people and I started to panic a little.

Anyway, your experience with that kind of thing sounds a lot like other WP members.

I guess it depends on how familiar I am with the situation and how much success I've had with it in the past. For example, in social gatherings at work, I tend to be fairly comfortable and usually have a general idea of what to expect, whereas in case of flirting I feel pretty much like you describe. It really depends on my experience in different types of social situations.