Why do they not respond?

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It is something that irritates me a lot. And that's when I ask a question to a person, and don't get any answer.
Since I'm not talking to someone I don't know, I refer to my parents and my siblings.
For example: I asked my dad: "Why are you driving so fast?" when he drove me to school.
He lowered the speed, but he didn't answer my question!
And when I asked my sister: "Why do you listen to the radio all the time?" she didn't tell me. She said nothing.
Also questions like this: "Why did you eat up all the ice cream we had?", "How could you be so mean?" and "Why do you think it's so fun to sing?" they seem to ignore.
This makes me despair, I ask of course because I wonder.
Should I ask in a different way, or how else?

I have no idea but I would just keep asking them until they answer.

I used to have this problem. I found that sometimes other people, especially those who do not have AS, perceive things differently. You asked you dad "Why is he driving so fast", and he may have took it as a request rather then a question. Your sister is your sister (older I am guessing). Siblings can be a royal pain.

Also for the others that you listed (I know they are just examples), I think it may have been timing and context, though I was not there so I cannot say for sure.

If you really want an answer, ask directly (I know you may be trying to do this) and make sure they answer. If this is mostly a family thing, tell them that you would really like an answer and no answer bothers you. Communication is a big thing. Sometimes countries goto war over mis understandings that could have been avoided if they had just talked.

Hope this helps

Sometimes people use questions to say things that aren't really questions. I.e. "why are you driving so fast?" is often meant to mean "I think you are driving too fast and I want you to slow down."

Or "why do you listen to the radio all the time?" may be interpreted as saying, "I disapprove of your listening to the radio so much."

There could be other interpretations and reasons for them not answering, tho.

I'm not sure if it would work but you might try saying something like, "not that I mind it, I was really just wondering..."

I think you're right. Thank you!


Okay, it's what I'm doing too, but they're just get mad and I don't understand why.

Thanks, it was a very good tip!

He knows he's in the wrong so slows down, then feels bad about it and therefore doesn't answer.



Maybe she doesn't know how to answer this? She possibly thinks it's obvious.. She enjoys it?




These are questions that are somewhat accusing.. Like saying you did something wrong. Most people don't want to be called out for doing the wrong thing. There is an element of shame in having to answer.

That's how I would view it.. But I probably felt the same as you when I was your age. It is quite irritating on some levels. Like someone else said, catch them when they are in a good mood and free to talk to you. Then ask them these questions and tell them how you feel when they do this and that you are just being curious.

Yes... I start to understand now!

Basically the same as others have said. I think they take the questions as comments rather than questions.

I used to get that a lot on the internet. (Not sure if anything has changed other than I don't hang out in those places anymore. ) And, on the internet, there's nothing I can do tone of voice wise to help. I'm thinking, though, a flat tone is more likely to be misinterpreted than a distinctly inquisitive tone.

If you really want an answer, then it's definitely better to use wording and tone that don't make it sound like you already have an opinion. Especially a negative one. Because, if someone feels judged, even if they know you want an answer, they aren't likely to feel cooperative. They'll feel defensive.

On the other hand, if you want something changed, if you want the radio turned down, or the driver to driver slower, it may be best to convey that without at the same time trying to fill your curiosity as to why. Save the why question.

people don't have to answer every question you put to them. I mean, it is polite and all, but sometimes people find answering questions about their behaviour annoying, so they just don't. Badgering people with continuous questions when they are trying to let you know they are not interested in answering by NOT answering becomes a power struggle in their eyes.
They win by shutting up.

And at that point we become irritating to them, as well as annoying, so they go quiet. All the justification and rationalization we feel that we are "just asking questions" or because we are curious does not make it any less annoying for others.

Sometimes us "neurotypicals" might give a look or a non-verbal response to your question which you may/may not pick up.

I think sometimes we also expect there is a bigger implication and more is inferred than the question implies. Rather than just taking the question at face value and responding in the way that you want - we complicate matters by trying to work out the "inferred" meaning - which may or may not be there!

Just as you may need things explaining - we need it too so ask your family to explain their thought processes.

Good luck

Thank you Mysty, Sinsboldly and AukidsMag!