What to do here...

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I had a very similar situation happen to me with similar abruptness.

I know that I talk about my mayor friend a lot on here, but I finally got a big clue as to what happened. After his community was hit by a flood almost two years ago, I was out in his community helping his out. I gave him a lot of suggestions about what to do( sometimes unsolisited), and helped him build relationships with key people, organizations and institutions (again sometimes without his approval or knowledge).

Six months into my helping him he sends me an abrupt e-mail how my prescence is akward and how my assistance is not needed (I will be happy to pm the e-mail for critiquing). He also proceeded to defriend me on Facebook, and doesn't return telephone calls or e-mails. I became very depressed when he sent me this e-mail, not only due to the fact that a 25 year friendship was over, but it really impacted how I help in the community. This came at a time when my friend had committed to speaking at our church lecture series, and had asked me to go to a conference with him to our state capital regarding his community.

I was in conversation of a mutual friend of my friend and I that I work with. She had recently seen my friend at an event and talked to him. I guess he felt condescended by me and he felt that I felt he didn't know how to run his community, due to the unsolisted advice and actions. That was far from the truth actually, the reason I helped my friend was so he would get the help that he needed so his community would come back after the flood. I was a little confused by this, but it does provide some answers.

I think that those of us that are on the autism/AS spectrum sometimes say or do things, we think that are ok or helpful, but again may offend other people. We sometimes fail to see the dynamics or personal perspective of an action or conversation.

This stuff happens to me all the time and it does upset me and one of them happened to be my old teacher that I enjoyed having, I added him, he accepted and then the next thing you know, out of the blue he deletes me soon as I send him a "hi" message.

Without any reasoning why he did it in the first place... Right now I feel like kung-fooing his butt.

But seriously.... Tim, I don't think she was much of a real friend or the fact she didn't like the opinion, I don't know, i'd try and get through to her in many ways and yes, go for the phone call idea definitely.

And facebook, just think of it as nothing, just a website... nothing special on it...

She mentioned that she was angry at me, but didn't tell me why.

Chances are you violated some nebulous, ever changing NT social rule. She probably has no logical way of explaining why she is mad at you. It's one of the things that NT's just instinctively know. You're going to have to write this one off.

She was an Aspie, and she was basically expecting me to read her mind, and instinctively know why she was angry at me without her ever having to tell me.

Tim, that is what shallow, immature NT women, not Aspies, do. You don't need someone like that in your life anyway.

I have officially lost her as a friend, and I will never know why she was angry at me.

Doesn't sound like she was ever much of a friend to begin with. Happens to everyone, even NT's.