How do you tell if teasing is for fun or to be mean?

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Okay, so at lunch today, I felt remotely popular. I had like, 7 people around me, and 3 were guys, even! Some of them were popular. We were all joking and stuff and then this one guy noticed the pattern on my hoodie was skulls. Then everyone started talking about how I could totally be a goth, and how I should get piercings and tattoos and stuff and should paint my face white, and how I had the personality for it. It was all fun and stuff, but then it hit me...How can I know if they had good intentions or were trying to be mean? I wasn't exactly sure. I've had situations in the past where I thought it was all in good fun, but the other party was actually laughing at me. SO I don't want to make the same mistake this time.

I can see where you would be having difficulty trying to figure this out. It may be that they were poking fun, but it may be that they were being genuine and were trying to find a topic that might interest you enough to engage in conversation. The things that I would try and look for if you can discern it (this is where I am horrible at things and always have to ask) are tone, inflection, volume (were they trying to draw attention towards you in a negative way, or get others to join in), just things like that (or at least that is what I was always told growing up and I still don't get it). A couple of things do stand out to me though.
1) They seemed to be making assumptions based wholely on your choice of clothing (maybe you are or want to be goth, and maybe you just like the pattern and it fits one of your obsessions).
2)They started mentioning other things that are seen as "stereotypical," and , "integral" parts of being goth to everyone between the ages of 15 and 50.
3) They seemed to be assuming that all "Goths" have a certain mindset and personality, when in fact, they are as varied as everyone else is. These factors make up a possibility of them poking fun, but are also indicators of good natured teasing, and that is what makes it so difficult. I would take it with a grain of salt, and if it turns out that they were trying to be hurtful, be confident in the fact that at least you have the guts to stand out and be original, whereas they are most likely mindless drones trying to establish their place in the pecking order that is teenage life. Either way, I wish you only the best of luck, and hope that you don't end up getting hurt by any of this.

Look at the situation.
When then say one joke, and all laugh about it.
And you don't answer or just laugh with it.
And somebody else, tell a joke about the same subjet against you.
Then its not really teasing anymore.

@Christophe: You search it too far, its not important about what subject it is.

At work, I take everything as joking around, even if it is probably meant to be mean. That way, it doesn't really matter. But then, I'm lucky because people understand and expect that from me, so they take that into consideration and just draw vales over it. I think, anyway. Could work for you.

My friends have to tell me they're joking...

Truth be told, I don't think there's any real difference between teasing or ridicule or insult - except by degree*, and the line often gets crossed accidentally (thus the insincerely apologetic phrase "Just Kidding!). Anyone who uses humor to help break the social ice runs that risk, because what's 'too far' is ultimately in the mind of the teasee. Most reasonably intelligent people have some innate sense of how far they can tease before they've become a bully, but others are clueless, and anybody can misstep once in awhile. Been there, done that.

In this particular case, I'm guessing - given the genders and ages of the individuals involved, including yourself - if they had no interest in you, they wouldn't have bothered talking to you in the first place, so I doubt there was any intent to be hurtful. I think they were just trying to keep a conversation going because they liked you, and they were grasping for anything to say to keep you engaged.

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*Look at that peculiar social institution called a 'Roast', where people get together for the specific purpose of ridiculing and humiliating one individual, just to 'honor' them, out of admiration.

Well, I poke fun at them too. Like one of the guys, he's growing a lot of stubble, and we were talking about how he should grow it a foot long, and donate the wig to cancer patients, and stuff....(it was funnier in context XD)
But yeah, some of the jokes aimed at me seemed to be getting a bit close to the border of mean....I really can;t tell what the intentions were. I hope they were good.
I don't even dress like a goth. I think that was part of the joke. I just happened to have an unusual hoodie on. XD

I too often find it difficult to see whether people are laughing with me or at me because even when I can see them pointing at me and laughing in a jeering like manner they act innocent and my Mom has always said not to be so judgemental in response to such things, I think really its just better to try and see the good in people because you were feeling good until you started thinking that they could be laughing at you so I think just try to be positive, I know its clich'ed but my two cents

My friend's been doing it an awful lot lately. On Facebook, he likes to infiltrate my wall-to-walls (comment chains) with such defamatory things as "Beau likes to touch up the girls!" and "He's a rowdy one!". I'd tell him to stop then he tells me that he was just joking. It takes a bit of heat off the situation but I still don't like him saying stuff like that because it wears at my patience and, ultimately, that sort of thing is unneccessary. I'm this ( | | ) close to blocking the guy...

The motives of anyone who tries to start a coversation with teasing are questionable at best in my opinion.
They are trying to get off easy by saying they were just kidding.

It's very hard for me to tell, as well. I don't know if people are teasing me, or hurting me. I wouldn't dare do that to anybody.

wait. Eventually they will tell you. I will spare you the list of examples. Till then, drive defensively but nonjudgementally.