Yes, Northeastern, you can learn how to read non-verbal cues. I taught myself how to do it.
The first thing I want you to do is take note of your own body language. When you converse with someone, do you look them in the face? And if you do, are you just staring at the other party's whole face, or are you just staring at the mouth? I noticed that I'm a mouth starer, and I later learned that this is a common Aspie trait. So, whatever you case may be, from this point forward I want to to make a conscious effort to draw an imaginary upside down triangle across the face--across the eyes, down to the mouth, and back up to the eyes again. Do this every 40 seconds or so when you are talking to people. It will become more of a habit as time passes. This helps you take in the whole face and makes you more able to pick up subtle facial expressions.
Also, start a mental database. Think about the times you unintentionally offended someone. Perhaps you don't remember exactly what you said, but what was the general subject? Sex? Race? Politics? Whatever is was, file it in your database don't go there with other people in the future. Change the subject or just don't respond. Better an awkward silence than an awkward remark.
I also recommend that you pick up Temple Grandin's book The Unwritten Rules of Social Communication. She co-authored the book with an Aspie.
Email me directly if you have any questions.
David
19 Feb 2010, 6:51 pm
