how to get a friend to understand without upsetting them

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Catster29
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22 Mar 2010, 9:07 am

My friend is planning to move into my place in the coming weeks but one thing she keeps doing that I don't like is to have a go at my furniture or say "I am not a fan of x or y thats fine but IMO she should keep it to herself as it is rude and slightly offensive consideringi t is me going to have her as a flatmate. Sure she is entitled to like different things to me, how do I handle the situation?



Willard
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22 Mar 2010, 4:32 pm

If she's already irritating you that much now, how much worse do you imagine it's going to get when she's there all the time and you can't make her go away?' 8O

I'd reconsider the decision to live together.



Lene
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22 Mar 2010, 4:51 pm

I didn't know my mum was moving in with you... :?

Tell her she's allowed her opinion, but your apartment is your personal space and you like it as it is. If it's not good enough for her, she doesn't have to move in. If it is good enough. then she should shut up with the nasty personal remarks. And they are personal, because you chose the furniture, or at least liked it enough to keep it, so she's basically insulting your taste.

Be blunt, honestly, it's the only thing that sinks in. Talk to her before she moves in, and if she rolls her eyes or acts like you are making a big deal about nothing, don't let her move in. You don't need that kind of negativity about your home.

I'd agree with Willard on this.



Catster29
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22 Mar 2010, 6:33 pm

I give her some slack because aspies aren't good at being tactful but I do think I will tell her how I feel about it all the same.