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01001011
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15 Apr 2010, 4:13 pm

Situation: being a postgraduate student myself, I am attending more and more rather formal meetings between scholars in the field. Often I come across conversations between experts I don't know but I think my knowledge can contribute. How do I join them politely?



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15 Apr 2010, 9:26 pm

In my experience, valid tech talk would get you into the conversation, if played right. "Wouldn't that violate the... are you sure, because I thought..." yadda yadda. If you're an english or liberal arts major, good luck with that.


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Mosaicofminds
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16 Apr 2010, 12:59 am

What academic field are you in, btw?

In my experience, academics are always willing to talk about their research interests (they're a bit like us with our special interests, lol), and often about intellectual stuff in general. I've never had a problem starting a conversation with an academic. Other people on the other hand... :oops:

When you go up to academics having a conversation at a conference or something, what are they usually talking about? That might help with figuring out what's considered acceptable to talk about, and thus how you can break the ice.



01001011
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17 Apr 2010, 6:59 am

I study mathematics :oops:

Of course we talk about mathematics in those occasions. Mostly about technical details, similar to a group of university students talking about a question in the assignment or past paper.



ElaineAbigayle
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19 Apr 2010, 1:40 am

Listen to what they are saying, and when it's appropriate, give your opinion on whatever they're talking about or ask a question. If you don't know what they are talking about but it sounds interesting, ask them about it. **Asking people what they're talking about can sometimes just annoy them and make them want to avoid you because you aren't a part of their social group. Understand these boundaries and don't try to butt into any conversation you hear.

Continue in the conversation as if you were already part of it, and hopefully they won't have a problem with you joining. It is often best to start with a small comment and judge the reaction before continuing.



Mosaicofminds
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20 Apr 2010, 12:02 am

I agree with the above poster--but I'd recommend waiting for a pause, then introducing yourself before you start talking. Otherwise, you'll seem like you're just butting in.



01001011
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22 Apr 2010, 2:32 pm

Mosaicofminds wrote:
I agree with the above poster--but I'd recommend waiting for a pause, then introducing yourself before you start talking. Otherwise, you'll seem like you're just butting in.


I always have difficulty finding a pause :? Can I just join when one person stops talking. Is there any cue I can switch to speaking mode in time? :roll:



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22 Apr 2010, 3:15 pm

01001011 wrote:
Situation: being a postgraduate student myself, I am attending more and more rather formal meetings between scholars in the field. Often I come across conversations between experts I don't know but I think my knowledge can contribute. How do I join them politely?


start with someone you know in the group, exchange proper introductions is the way in. if the topic of conversation is over your head, everyonce in awhile throw in a nod of the head and say "interesting" like you actually understand. if they corner you on anything, take a very vague approche for example.

so charles about this corperate finace holding deal. im afraid with the market the way it is, is sacrificing a few points to the dollar really worth it, what do you think mr binary............

your response

well when it comes to matters of finace, i tend to be more abstract that formal.

reply

abstract you say?

your response. well we didnt get to where we are by playing it safe.


apply vague answers and try to follow with some dry wasp humor



Mosaicofminds
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22 Apr 2010, 4:23 pm

Yeah, finding a pause can be hard sometimes. There are 2 problems I run into with it:

-Standing there too long waiting for an opening, especially if you don't seem to have any plausible reason to be there AND you look anxious. It makes you look like you really want to talk to the people involved, and are hanging on, but don't have anything to contribute.

I would suggest listening closely to the speakers, making mirroring gestures, nodding, showing an interested expression or other facial expressions that react to what they're saying, so you can build the nonverbal rapport you need to be on the inside waiting for a turn rather than on the outside looking in. This can be hard to do in a non-awkward manner, but I've found it does work better than just standing there. :)

-When the pace of the conversation is quite fast, with the next person starting as soon as the first one stops. Happens a lot when people are talking about something they're really excited about. I don't know how much this happens at math conferences.

Watch the speakers carefully--they might open their mouths slightly as they're preparing to speak, or make a gesture, or hold more tension in their bodies, or lean forward towards the speaker more. If you see even the slightest hint of a pause, look both speakers in the eye so they acknowledge that you're there and want the floor, then start talking. If you inadvertently speak at the same time one of them does--it could happen--then apologize, maybe say something about how interesting their conversation was, and introduce yourself. You'll probably seem like an unpolished, overeager student, but there are worse ways to come off.

Does this help at all?