Sick of being ignored

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This could go in either the Romantic column or in this column. People tell me that I shouldn't be "seeking out" friends, or girlfriends for that matter. People say I shouldn't try; I should let people come to me.

How is this physically possible? If I want to get a job, I can't just sit in the middle of McDonalds and wait for a job to come to me. I have to make a resume, obtain the minimal qualifications for working there, and go to the restaurant and take part in a good interview. If I want a car, I don't just stand on the side of the street and wait for someone to give me a car. I have to earn enough money to purchase one, or I have to win one on The Price is Right.

Likewise, I do not agree with what a few people have told me, that I should sit back and wait for friends and girlfriends to come to me. I have to work to make friends. I have to be a friend to people. I have to make myself seen. Just sitting at a table in the cafeteria by myself is not going to cut it. People don't come to quiet people. People only come to those damn positive guys with baseball caps and ear or facial piercings.

I'm not going to accept that I have somewhat of a reputation for being "in your face" and/or "coming on too strong". Get used to it everyone. Some of us are different and introduce ourselves to others in a slightly different manner than others. Labelling others as "different" behind their backs, and refusing to tell them to their face that there is a problem, is unacceptable. Guys and girls are equally guilty.

There's my gripe of the day.

I'd consider for myself working at a fast food place to be an insult, as colleges have denied doctor requested accommodations for me. Also I've applied at fast food places, they all turned me down, it would be relaxing to just clean and do the same things over and over.

For those with A.S in California I know that Vocation Rehab will accept you, I was just accepted there. But then the regional center lady said H.F.A, so more programs available to me likely, I got to call today.

The place I go, I try to socialize, I think how I should approach a person, especially if it’s a lady. I've done it a few times just to challenge myself. I suppose your post is about determination.

What to say beyond hello? Then how are you.. Or to just speak about interests they obviously have no interest in. Then to try to find interests in things that are tediously boring and mundane for myself of another person.

I was thinking about writing an article and also do a streaming audio version called, the label and the social psychological dynamics of the group. See that’s interesting, then to find other smart people to talk about it with.

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Determination and perseverance

Those things don't get me very far. Being different makes people ignore you.

I think it might feel like that, I don't feel that way, of course I do not feel like fitting in, it is not important. Even socializing isn’t because it is like the saying, a different world, like a different reality then internalized self.

I find it to be requiring of to much mental effort of things I am not, yet I believe there is the need for the formation of safe and professional localized groups both in the U.S and in other countries. that required funding, so that socializing in that respects of quality of life is improved.

Perhaps working with psychologist that can conduct support groups for us at a low cost, yet social groups for meeting up would be different. I think those disagreeing with such a thing, do not realize that some of us just cannot seem to be like them, like my father says why don't you socialize more, as if I choose not to.

Likely working with already established organizations for meet up times, there is already that going on to a certain extent. Not sure what else to suggest.

Someone on my chat list had a name called, "don't you feel forever lonely". Better then saying don't you feel just loony, laugh snort.

People who are not conditioned or socially programmed like the norm, are commonly misunderstood, personally as I have always seemed, I am neither or, sort of invisible, yet not literally..

I don't really care too much about "fitting in", as that is not a really important thing in the long term. However when you're lonely and by yourself, people see that, and they automatically assume (logically, not rightfully) that there must be something wrong with you if other people don't like you. That is one of the best counterarguments against those who think it is okay to be single. If a man is single, women believe that there must be something wrong with the man if he can't attract other women. Once a man has had someone once, not only does he understand the function required to find someone, but women will have more interest in him because they will see that others desire him.



The problem for me is that I have a mild form of Asperger's, which is enough to make me "different" but not enough to make me seem handicapped when others meet me. I don't know anyone else with Asperger's at the level that I have it; the few people I know locally that have it are lower-functioning, and it is quite obvious just looking at them. I have both NT elements and AS elements; it is finding someone else who has some NT elements but faces the same social rejection that is the challenge.

As awareness of the condition increases, that should change.

I fell asleep.. So delay in response.


I am not sure, there is a social reality, like high school, I never was part of it... The only things I am sure of doing is talking to someone about computer parts.. My business accomplished something, with the help of exposure that i would not expect of myself to do, yet I could imagine doing such things. That gave me much confidence, other people are other people.

I really cannot tell an aspie mind reality mild or not, to another type of mind frame unless self relating. Those with experience with the human mind of others, beyond conceptualities and some self-relating are mind readers. Sometimes things are self- evidentiary, so mind reading is really just experiential.

My last time going to the place I goto, there is every other time a more so autistic person that attends. Well I am not sure if he is more so autistic or not, he talks and seems to enjoy himself but his physical impulse is to rock in a chair, almost last time I talked to him, but like other people I was not sure how to approach. He might make a good friend to meet there as I go anyways, ladies are easy to talk to introductorially. I do not fear rejection.

I've had friends yet they usually have to be very persistent in wanting to be friends with me first, otherwise I've never really wanted them.

What it is like in your brain isn’t easy to determine, people have emotions, we all do.

This social understanding of N.T, I do not understand, well I think I do, I have ideas concerning it. It's like high school and social clicks I suppose.

As far as myself, I feel to be confident that once established in a setting, with the understanding of difficulties I might do very well. So I am looking forward to that, rather then feeling dysfunctional.

When trying to understand people, I suppose functionality is determinable by more then intellectual ability, it is adaptability and that has to do with sociability.

Self-esteem has much to do with the progressiveness of growth in functional adaptability, one would suppose.

The diversity of people begins with minds in how they are inside, not diagnostic criterion.

It's true that most people are going to ignore you - However, it's also going to serve as an automatic filter to push out the people who aren't worth your time. I find it quite useful. But then again I'm very content with a small group of very close friends. Some people might be more tailored to less deep relationships, but with more people.

Lately I have learned to become content with my solitude sadly enough

I don't know about that - if you can get someone to give you a chance and see you for who you are, it might be worth it.

I have Asperger's pretty bad and most of the time I feel like I am always on the "Outside Looking In" When I am in a social situation I am completely blank and overcome with Anxiety, I don't know how to "jump in" or know what to say. A lot of the time if I try to talk no one really listens. So I am pretty much a loner and keep to myself. I can be in a group of people and they will totally forget I'm even there. My mom gets pissed at me sometimes but she just doesn't understand. Life as Aspie is SOOOOOOO DAMN FRUSTRATING!! !!

Sick of being ignored?

You may be suffering from ATTENTION DEFICIT SYNDROME.



Dr. Katze