Peer Assistant: is this a good/bad idea?

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(I had a very difficult time deciding which section to post this in. I almost put it in the school section because it deals with college, but I thought it was more of a social thing than a school specific thing. I apologize if this would be better posted elsewhere.)

Problems:
I forget to do school projects if they are not interesting, and most notably, I forget to take measures to maintain relationships with people.
I tried to put myself on a schedule that would make me make time for people; however, I still forgot.
I also have a hard time getting gifts for friends. Sometimes, I see something and immediately think of a person I know would like it, and I buy said thing for a present. However, if I have to look for a gift for someone’s birthday, wedding, or other such thing, I have no clue as to what to get.
I manage to get by (albeit barely), but that is only because I expend a great amount of effort on paying attention to other people. I now really think the only reason I am “high-functioning” is because my main special interest is and always has been homo sapiens sapiens (I have always liked organisms which group, exhibit high intelligence, manipulate their environment extensively, and/or display complex forms of communication.) When I was a small child, the closest I could come to communicating with ants was altering pheromone trails to make them walk where I wanted them to go. I could do a lot more with humans. So, I concentrated my efforts on studying human behavior and interacting with them in ways that made them comfortable so they would exhibit normal behavior I could study. Everything I did with people was planned to illicit a certain response or to prod them for more information. I did not make friends in childhood. I gained subjects to study.
Now that I am trying to actually integrate myself into social groups, I have a problem. If I am trying to complete class work in a group, I can not study the people enough to know how to interact with them and pay attention to my school work.
Before college, I kept a tiny network of friends and acquaintances so I could dedicate a great amount of time and energy to their cases.
I have too many people to keep up with now, and it interferes with all aspects of my life.

My “fantastic” idea”:
I am considering finding another college student and paying them to assist me. I will give them my calendar, throw notes I take at them, and contact them when I have a sudden problem (acquaintance is getting married or the like). They will keep track of my calendar and remind me of important dates, organize my notes and integrate them into my calendar, and they will aid me with suggestions when maintaining acquaintances requires me to perform some social ritual I am terrible at performing. Of course, they must be knowledgeable about asperger’s syndrome. I am considering looking for someone interested in psychology. I will also expect them to report things about the college student activities to me and other things which I am interested in but not enough to actually pay attention to myself.
I have mentioned this to family, and they suggested I talk more openly to my friends. However, I do not think that is possible for me. I do not understand how to talk to people in the way most friends do.

My questions:
In your oppinion, is this a good/bad idea? Have you ever done something comparable to this? Would you suggest I do something other than this to help my problems?

I've had similar situational challenges in the past. I've come to a similar rationale on what I needed to fix, but a completely different conclusion. I don't trust people much -- and I'm a total tech nerd, so I've just adopted Tablet PCs and time management software. Using MS Outlook and other things I've rolled-out for myself, I'm able to optimize my time rather well. It's the reason that I have the most study time of anyone I know. I'm reminded of dates, anniversaries, etc. well ahead of time and can plan to resolve them without any problem.
Of course, I'm not able to solve the present selection problem -- my solution is to just walk around a Walmart or another big-box store looking for anything that seems practical.

Regardless, I hope you let us know what you come up with.

I can not handle computers for some reason. I understand how to use them in theory and enjoy taking them apart. However, I can not use the various programs created to make the lives of consumers easier.

I tend to distrust people for the most part. However, after seeing a person a few times, I can usually profile them well enough to know what I can and what I can not trust them with. Giving anyone the amount of trust I would have to in order to try out my idea does make me nervous though.

Walk around Wal-mart until you see something? I have a difficult time in Wal-mart even if I have a list!

I was hoping for more advice on this. Even if someone has an opinion as to why this is an absolutely horrible idea, it would be helpful.

I also personally can't stand mass-market software unless I can programatically extend it somehow -- but to do that, you have to be a programmer. I guess I'm too much of a geek: everything I recommend inevitably involves computers.


Thus the reason I'm recommending automation. Electronics equals no other person equals no trust problems.

A few points:

1) Perhaps my advice could be solved by a non-electronic method. Staples still sells old-fashioned paper organizers. Perhaps picking one of those up and systematizing your life like I do could help out.

2) Hiring someone to work for me is always markedly different from befriending them. Employees have an at-will relationship with you, so if you don't like their performance you fire them straight up. My mind is just naturally capitalistic in that sense. You can't do that at all with family, and doing that with friends has difficult consequences. Perhaps you should look on this situation like this -- hiring and firing an assistant is a business decision and will not affect your emotional state.

3) Your idea is not really that much different from either accounting or executive secretarial. Considering this economy, it's highly likely you could get someone with actual business experience on the cheap. BTW: I think what you're considering is call Life Coaching, or at least something of an intense version of it -- perhaps there's a professional with that title somewhere around you who could recommend someone they know. (Although I'd have no clue where to look for this info.)


lol! I was the same way until I bit the bullet and decided to just go out and force myself to walk the store. Luckily, if you keep to yourself and wander around, nobody bothers you. I've gotten only about a 50% success rate in finding something that I'm looking for, but that's better than 0%.


Yes, even in a community of us AS'ers, you still have to work to sell yourself. It's bad form, I say! But I guess we just have to get used to it.

I appreciate the advice.

I tried to organize with various books, lists, folders, and such, but it did not work out.

The main reason I wanted to hire an assistant was because I thought it would lack a certain emotional connection on both sides, and I would not have to worry. My family does not understand this. That is why they want me to talk to friends.
I think I am going to go ahead with it, and report here how it goes in case anyone is interested.