Alycat wrote:
So I've struggled most of my life with making friends. A while ago I did make a friend, but she stopped being friends, and due to that and feeling pretty low I couldn't bring myself to face rejection, and chose instead to be reclusive.
That pretty much sums up how I've been, so I know what you've been through. The worst thing you can do is be reclusive, I did that back last year and ended up with depression and paranoia. I personally think that, had I continued to "live" that way, I'd probably have developed agoraphobia. Now, I'd be lying if I said biting the bullet and taking that initial step was easy, so congratulations Alycat for making an effort and putting yourself out there.
Alycat wrote:
I really want to make friends, and I'm trying to make an effort now. I've joined a few sports clubs and an AS group, and I'm thinking of going back to the church where my ex friend and I both went.
Thing is, I'm really scared of putting myself out there. I seem to always make mistakes and people end up disliking me. I'm not sure I could put up with the rejection from people.
It's a good thing that you've managed to join some groups (I'm still working on that). I suppose it would be good for you to go back to the church if your ex friend still goes there but, I would advise you not to go if you fell out with her or she was nasty to you. I don't know the whole story here but, based on past experience, I avoid any former friends like the plague. One girl at school was particularly nasty. I won't go into the whole thing, but she kept taking advantage of me and making me feel bad about myself, and Muggins here had no backbone and wouldn't stand up to her because Muggins was afraid of losing her and having no friends. Her, and a few others, are the reason I've been afraid to make friends, even though I did want to. I do have a few friends now though, and it's all okay.
Alycat, if you persevere with going to these groups and make an effort to speak to the other people who go there, even if you just say "hello", in time your efforts should start to pay off and you might even find that you have things in common with someone. And then, who knows, you could become friends with them. So you see, a little talking can go a long way.
Here's hoping that, in time, you meet a nice, genuine person/people who will like and accept you for who you are.
I hope this helps.
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Many moons ago, a little rubber ducky took to the waters and washed up here.
10 May 2010, 9:47 am
