New Rules To My Life

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These are the new rules to my life to help me control my emotions

• Never care about how anyone else feels
• Never reply to personal messages, and only reply to emails and messages that get you something.
• Someone else feelings has nothing to do with yours
• If you hurt someone else feelinhs or think you’ve hurt someone else’s feelings, who cares, they are the ones who have to deal with their feelings.
• Say whatever is on your mind when you feel like it, unless it gets you in trouble, if you hurt someone else, boo hoo, it’s not your problem.
• Never do anything you don’t want to, unless there’s something in it for you.
• Ignore everyone who has ignored or mistreated you in the past.
• Try not to care about what people think of you.
• If you think yourself an a**hole, REMEMBER it could be worse; you could be slapping yourself for people not returning your kindness.
• And last but not least, do what you want to do, and never care about anyone’s feelings, and ignore your own emotions.

It sounds like you are in a lot of pain right now. I wish you peace for that. I can relate to what you wrote 'cause I used to engage in that kind of thinking an awful lot myself. That was about 10 years ago or so.

It's okay to feel pain.

I like your ideas, and I sort of already do most of those things without trying. But you can't apply them to everyone in your life. If you want to use them to help you control your emotions than only apply them to people who you don't know or don't care about. It is beneficial to try to empathize with your friends and family, as they are (hopefully) people who support you and will not be the cause of your negative emotions. Ignoring their feelings will cause you to isolate yourself from them, which will make you feel worse. If you try your strategy with people who aren't important in your life, it will help stabilize your emotions.

But if you do those things to everyone, you will regret it. And by the time you realize that you will have a very difficult time cleaning up the huge mess you made with your social life.

My my my...there's a story you should read Soledad, and it's called "Goldy Locks and the Three Bears"

You're upset because your porridge was too hot, and so now you've gone and made your porridge too cold, thinking that will fix the problem.

What you need to do is find a way to make your porridge just right.

I'm willing to bet that you were previously a pushover. I bet you never said "no" to people when they asked you to do things that were really an unreasonable inconvenience, and perhaps even solicited to inconvenience yourself, with the thought that they would return this generosity and altruism, and they didn't, and now you feel hurt.

You have to look at this from a perspective other than "the world is bad and people just want to take advantage of me"

You need to look at this from the "I need to let people know when they're crossing the line" perspective.

If I ask something of someone, and they say yes, I assume that it isn't a massive inconvenience for them, and if it is, for them to express that to me in some explicit way.

When people do something that is requested of them, or even unsolicited, that is really a massive inconvenience for them, under the guise of being "nice" with the expectation that the person they are doing it for picks up on this unspoken inconvenience and will respond in a like manner, is actually not only not fair to yourself, but not fair to the other person.


Be nice. Be civil. Do nice things for nice people. But don't be a pushover because you will set yourself up to get hurt but yourself.

I tell the men on here, being nice to a women does not oblige her to fall in love with you. Likewise, being nice to people does not oblige them to be your friend or do what you want them to do.

Relationships cannot be bought.

OK, well if you want to follow these rules then please feel free.

However......................................................

If you refuse to consider the feelings of others then you're going to find it rather difficult to interact with the rest of humanity. As aspies we already have problems in this area and some of these rules are going to make it even harder for you.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

Vanilla_Slice