Why do I have to be rubbish at social situations?

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gemstone123
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11 Jun 2010, 11:26 am

I just can't seem to make any friends. Online or otherwise. :roll:
School is no better. In fact it's probably a lot worse. I struggle to walk through the building let alone speak to people. At least at home I have my dog to keep me company. :lol:
I know it's probably to do with my AS but it gets so frustrating at times because I'm 17 and when I look at most other people my age they have at least 1 friend to hang around with or talk to. :(
Yikes talk about feeling sorry for myself. :roll:


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Ferdinand
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11 Jun 2010, 12:12 pm

Find people who are equally terrible, like me.

You are my friend, Mr. Smurf!


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Kiley
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11 Jun 2010, 1:30 pm

Social skills can be developed and improved on. Are there any social skills classes for kids with AS in your area? Social perception impairment does not mean you can not develop the skills needed to be a good friend and have a good friend, or even more than one...it just means you might have to work a little harder at it. You don't even have to act like someone without AS to suceed either. Most people are more than happy to meet you halfway, and the ones who aren't aren't worth knowing.

What about joining some kind of a special interest club? Special interests can be a great way to connect to other people.



conundrum
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11 Jun 2010, 2:56 pm

Kiley wrote:
Social skills can be developed and improved on. Are there any social skills classes for kids with AS in your area? Social perception impairment does not mean you can not develop the skills needed to be a good friend and have a good friend, or even more than one...it just means you might have to work a little harder at it. You don't even have to act like someone without AS to suceed either. Most people are more than happy to meet you halfway, and the ones who aren't aren't worth knowing.

What about joining some kind of a special interest club? Special interests can be a great way to connect to other people.


I agree.

Take it from someone who knows--it's never too late to learn how to make friends.

Remember you always have us here, too. :)


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psychointegrator
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11 Jun 2010, 4:02 pm

gemstone123 wrote:
I just can't seem to make any friends. Online or otherwise. :roll:
School is no better. In fact it's probably a lot worse. I struggle to walk through the building let alone speak to people. At least at home I have my dog to keep me company. :lol:
I know it's probably to do with my AS but it gets so frustrating at times because I'm 17 and when I look at most other people my age they have at least 1 friend to hang around with or talk to. :(
Yikes talk about feeling sorry for myself. :roll:


This theme of frustration seems to have come up a few times recently if I'm not mistaken. Perhaps you would be willing to clarify some inquiries?

What do you mean by friends? Are you able to list a thing or two that you would find desirable in a friend? Anything that you find so unappealing or something just unacceptable that would have you remove them as a friend?

When you are struggling, what exactly is going on? What are you experiencing and what is causing it?

It may in fact do with your AS or (since I know little to none about you or your AS) have you considered AS is only a part and not the entity? This may not seem important, however, I think unintentionally using something to explain why others happen can open the chance for mischief. In no shape or manner am I suggesting anything negative from what you have said to be clear. I do recommend keeping an eye out on this forum for how people use their AS in the way they are thinking, a few times it felt like "AS" was some tumor growing from their head or it is separate from them.

What comes from their use of AS is resonating to the tune of "AS is my source of suffering and torment, if only it would stop ruining my life," along those lines or something.

Stepping back, it's not AS and those with the disorder that I am directly addressing, it's a normal human way of thinking or tactic. I might start collective samples to see if I'm just on the crack or its there and then that would need to hunt down the psychology and related research/data points.
We don't need people and of course not WP brothers and sisters snagging on a downward spiral that spins every time more and more is projected on AS when it is not OR it's being expressed with revile (not in the mood to explain the latter).


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MONKEY
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11 Jun 2010, 4:43 pm

Ferdinand wrote:
Find people who are equally terrible, like me.

You are my friend, Mr. Smurf!


That's what I do actually. Worked for me


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gemstone123
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12 Jun 2010, 5:06 am

psychointegrator wrote:

This theme of frustration seems to have come up a few times recently if I'm not mistaken. Perhaps you would be willing to clarify some inquiries?

What do you mean by friends? Are you able to list a thing or two that you would find desirable in a friend? Anything that you find so unappealing or something just unacceptable that would have you remove them as a friend?

When you are struggling, what exactly is going on? What are you experiencing and what is causing it?

It may in fact do with your AS or (since I know little to none about you or your AS) have you considered AS is only a part and not the entity? This may not seem important, however, I think unintentionally using something to explain why others happen can open the chance for mischief. In no shape or manner am I suggesting anything negative from what you have said to be clear. I do recommend keeping an eye out on this forum for how people use their AS in the way they are thinking, a few times it felt like "AS" was some tumor growing from their head or it is separate from them.

What comes from their use of AS is resonating to the tune of "AS is my source of suffering and torment, if only it would stop ruining my life," along those lines or something.

Stepping back, it's not AS and those with the disorder that I am directly addressing, it's a normal human way of thinking or tactic. I might start collective samples to see if I'm just on the crack or its there and then that would need to hunt down the psychology and related research/data points.
We don't need people and of course not WP brothers and sisters snagging on a downward spiral that spins every time more and more is projected on AS when it is not OR it's being expressed with revile (not in the mood to explain the latter).


The end and be sure to reward your DVDs before returning them.


Friends. You know people to hang around with or talk to or whatever. The usual definition. :) I don't want to hang around with people I have absolutely nothing in common with or just because they've got nobody else as friends. Been there. Done that and it was pretty pathetic. :lol:
I wasn't blaming my AS. I have social anxieties, I think is the term which is a result of it which means that social situations can be very unpleasant for me and I struggle to interact with people. I do also realize that I need to push myself more but it gets very draining. Plus I'm probably the most impatient person although I'm not as bad as I was. :lol: I do understand what you're saying though and I agree. Thanks for replying anyway. :D


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monsterland
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12 Jun 2010, 5:39 am

In high school my best friend was another guy with similar tendencies. Together we had similar interaction mechanics as the guys from the British show "The IT Crowd".

There's an episode on that show where they accidentally set a fire, and instead of extinguishing it, one of them calmly sits down and starts writing an Email request for help. That is so him. Too bad he's thousands of miles away now.



JRogers
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12 Jun 2010, 1:07 pm

Don't wallow in self pity. If you have social anxiety, find a way to deal with it. If you have poor social skills, learn better ones. There are lots of ways to do these things.



gemstone123
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12 Jun 2010, 2:23 pm

JRogers wrote:
Don't wallow in self pity. If you have social anxiety, find a way to deal with it. If you have poor social skills, learn better ones. There are lots of ways to do these things.


I'm not wallowing in self pity I just felt like having a rant. Besides not everything is so simple and I am dealing with my social anxiety and poor social skills, just very slowly. :lol:


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