Out of Synch!

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Does anyone else have this strange problem?

I look, and feel, much younger than my biological age (43). I'm very fit, and healthy, and, generally, have the enthusiasm, and energy, of a much younger man. All this is partly because I've looked after myself, partly because I'm a very late developer in life in general and partly genetic.

Great as it is to be able to say all this, it presents a HUGE problem: how do I widen my social circle. I do have some great friends, but I'm more outgoing now than I was in my thirties, and I'd like to have some more. However, the trouble is that people of my own age seem too old for me (they look older, and they've been through life experiences that I can't relate to), and I don't want to hang around with a bunch of much younger people (Michael Jackson syndrome!).

Can anyone relate to this 'out of synch' dilemma (even if your situation isn't identical)?

And, more importantly, any good advice?

As this topic was mentioned here and on other forums like this many times before i guess it is safe to assume that much younger apparency and behavior,mentality,energy is quite common AS trait,
I'm 56 and doesn't have white hair,i'm thin,energetic etc.most people mistake me for 30 and i every time i mention my real age i get a very surprised reactions or even plain disbelief(many times i was asked to produce some sort of id ) but as u wrote what good it is for me when i'm out of sync.
And i always was out of sync,as a kid i was the "little professor", introverted and philosophical which make me much older than my peers,
today when i'm old i'm much younger than people my age ,
Younger or older,it seems like one thing never change,i never in the right age and always out of sync.
I think i just stay the same but people around me change,
My theory is that AS sense time in a totally different way than NT.

Ditto.

The same is true for people with AS even when young - because of the skew between intellectual/emotional development, they tend to be more comfortable with people much older (whom they can more easily connect with intellectually) or with other kids several years younger (whom they connect with more emotionally and developmentally).

I still having similar issues at 50. I look 15 years younger than anyone else my age, but don't have the same interests as those much younger than myself.

Someone mistook me for being 21. I'm really 19, but it's hard to tell if I haven't shaved in a while.

When I was 12 people said they thought I was much older, I turned 21 and suddenly people thought I looked much younger and started being asked for photo id's.

Yep. When I was a teen I would never have believed it would be possible I'd end up feeling even more out of sync with my 'peers' in 20 years. In terms of energy, that's a lot lower, but there are reasons for that. But I've always looked younger than I am.

I have a better understanding of social stuff, but the gap in life experiences is larger, so in a way things aren't all that different, overall. Also, being on disability and not looking stereotypically crippled adds to the deterrence to talking to people much.

It seems like people on the spectrum gain an edge in "cross-cultural" situations: the woman who is one of the guys, the guy who hangs out with the women, younger amongst older, and maybe also vice versa. (Though yeah, not to the Micheal Jackson degree.)


Unfortunately, not really.

Perhaps that the best advice an out of sync person can get,
Seek the "cross-cultural" , not stereotypical ,cross gender relations,
Since l discovered this i never look for "normal people but the "out of synced" ones,
The sense of time and space is quite subjective and stereotypical folks or NT tend to interpret cause and effect,distance,speed and apace very differently from some one who's sense of reality is leaning toward integration rather then separation,
It's not always easy to define exactly why but when i am with AS women every thing became much easier and brighter for me.

I have noticed that immigrant communities tend to be both forgiving and grateful for any socialization/help you could provide. They want to know how to fit in, and us aspies tend to have no problem explaining social rules (or at least the ones we understand, anyway). But, these groups tend to be difficult to find.