Hi,
It's Luke here again. I consider myself to have good social skills for an Aspie which I have developed over time at one time I would have considered myself to be rather shy as I did have some negative experiences with people of my peer group in the past (for example bullying in school etc. which seems to be a very common experience amongst us Aspies) but since I was at university from 1999-2003 I became a lot more outgoing and sociable with people and my "social anxiety" reduced greatly over that time which enabled me to make quite a few good but transitional NT friends in my department there - I thought the social environment of being at University helped me greatly as the people I was mixing with where older and more mature than when I was in school does anyone else have experience of University/College helping with thier social life/friendships?
Also now I am more confident with myself socially and I can get to know new people (e.g. in my workplace) rather quickly and I become rather talkative with them but obviously because I am still an Aspie I can talk a bit too much when I want to and I can sometimes talk when it is inappropriate to do so like when the person I want to talk to is in a conversation with someone else and can sometimes even "talk over" people when I really want to get my point across but I do think I have improved on that over time but sometimes I still do have difficulties in determaining boundries when it comes to a conversation and therefore I can either end up interrupting the conversation too much or not getting my point in does anyone have any advice for that and does anyone else have the same problem?
Even as I have said above I have been able to maintain good friendships with NTs, my stongest and best friendships have been Aspie, especially since I started at an Asperger's Social group not far from were I live in Liverpool in 2003 (just before I left University) which was held every Thursday night and included things such as group exercises, social skills, and even putting on a play when I first started! I have got a lot more out of the social group than I had ever expected including an Aspie girlfriend I was with for a while but also a true "best" friend by the name of Tim and I have now been meeting him almost every week for 7 years - truly a wonderful friend. Like me, he is very capable, he likes travelling around places on the trains/buses an I have been to various places with him and like me he suffers from dyspraxia (his dyspraxia is more extensive than mine). He has also maintained a job for a long time and he is very very punctual like me - he always turns up at work on time and if he wants to meet me somewhere he is always very reliable which I consider to be one of the main strengths that makes my friendship with him so strong. Although I think I have helped him very well too as his social and emotional side is less developed than mine for example before I met him he had almost no friends at all. He is also probably more introverted an ego centric than I am - for example he is less likley to take chances with things that might potentially cause anixety but the good thing is that we help each other out which makes him a fantastic best friend!
Also I have question about him and his dad - his dad is very intelligent and has a PhD from Cambridge University and had a very prestigious job in scientific research for a long time - and still studies mathematics to this day even though he is now retired - does anyone think that he could have possibly had at least some of the traits of AS as they they that AS often runs in families and has a strong genetic component - also does anyone know if you can upload audio files to Wrong Planet as his dad did an excellent interview on our local radio station about Tim, his Asperger's and how it effects him - it is always good to see some positive publicity about Aspergers especially when it comes from my Aspie (best) friend!
Luke
27 Jun 2010, 4:57 pm
